


The Words Upon Your Fingertips

by AzulDemon



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), New Avengers (Comics), Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bullying, Deaf Character, Fluff, High School, Jealousy, M/M, Mild Angst, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Doubt, Sign Language, Slurs, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-01-15 12:41:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 34,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12321297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzulDemon/pseuds/AzulDemon
Summary: Teddy Altman used to be invisible.  He couldn't have even claimed the mantle of outcast, that would have implied that there was some form of acknowledgment, that he was actively cast out of some group or clique.  No, Teddy just hadn't seemed to exist to his peers.  That had all changed when he met Greg Norris, the super-popular basketball star of his high school.  What had followed was a series of late night parties, bad decisions, and underage drinking.  It seemed like a great idea at the time.  Teddy's grades and mother begged to differ.So this year was going to be different for Teddy.  He was going to make better choices.  He was going to keep from going back to being invisible.  It was all about finding balance.  Except this year is when the universe decided to give him Billy Kaplan.  The result is about what you'd expect.One thing is for sure, Teddy is definitely thankful for choosing the two years of American Sign Language he took.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been living in my computer for ages. It is a deeply personal story and inspired by real world events; that’s partly why it has taken me so long to write and post it. It's also why I am very anxious about posting this. I truly hope you all enjoy this story.
> 
> Please note that when conversations are in italics this means they are taking place completely in American Sign Language. When Deaf characters are speaking, assume that they are both signing and speaking. The same generally goes for characters who speak ASL and are conversing with Deaf characters. 
> 
> Also, my experience with the Deaf and hard of hearing community is not definitive nor comprehensive. I am not an expert on the language or the culture, this only comes from my personal experiences.
> 
> I'm shooting for shortish chapters and the story is mostly done except for fine-tuning so I expect it to be complete soonish.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Billy and Teddy. They are just important characters to me and fit for this story. They belong to Marvel, I'm just borrowing them for a bit.

**_…Don’t hold my hands accountable; they're young and they’re dumb…_ ** 1

 

The school-bell rang out, pinballing harshly off of the hallway walls.  It was exactly the sort of bell every high school movie and TV show used as a plot device.  It was _way_ too loud, metallic, and just generally unpleasant.  It was also the third time that it had rung and that meant Teddy was late.  He gripped the straps of his backpack and tugged it up higher on to his back to keep it from jostling too much as he jogged through the rapidly emptying halls.  

It was all Greg’s fault.  He had insisted on stopping and getting breakfast and as usual Teddy had been far too accommodating.  Now he was paying for that particular lack of willpower and not for the first time in their friendship.  Teddy had told himself this year was going to be different.  Sophomore year had been a series of poor decisions on Teddy’s part consisting of parties, risky behaviors, and underage drinking; it had resulted in a significant drop in Teddy’s grades and more tension between Teddy and his mother than there had ever been before.  

Teddy had told himself that he had learned from that experience; he had told himself this year would be different.  Yet here he was on the first day of his junior year and already carrying over those bad habits.  Maybe Teddy was weaker than he liked to pretend.  

He swallowed past that thought.  He was off to a bad start but that didn’t dictate the entirety of the upcoming year.  This was one bad choice in a day filled with nearly unlimited choices.  Teddy grunted a laugh and decided that maybe those counseling sessions his mother had insisted on had payed off a little (tough he was _not_ going to admit that to his mother).

He skidded into his classroom, sneakers shrieking loudly in protest against the linoleum floor as he did.  Ms. Kilven was at the front of the classroom, hands moving in tandem with her words as she spoke to the class in both American Sign Language and English.  Her eyes narrowed at Teddy in obvious irritation at his late arrival and interruption.

"Teddy,” she finger-spelled his name as she spoke.   "How nice of you to join us."  Ms. Kilven's gestures spoke the sarcasm and frustration even more than her tone.

Teddy gripped one backpack strap with his left hand and made a fist with his righthand and circled it in clock-wise swirls in front of his chest.  "Sorry," he slipped on his most innocent and contrite face.

Ms. Kilven sighed and shook her head but a whisper of a smile was on her lips.  "I've paired everyone up to start with a basic discussion about our summers."  She explained both with her voice and hands.  She pursed her lips and scanned the class.  "Looks like we've got an odd number..."  She snapped her fingers as she came to a decision and walked toward her desk.

For the first time Teddy noticed that there was a boy there shuffling papers, seemingly not paying attention to what was going on in class.  Teddy didn't necessarily know everyone in the school but he was pretty sure this guy was new.  Ms. Kilven flapped her hand in front of the boys face.  The boy looked up with warm, brown eyes flecked with amber and quickly pushed back his dark hair away from his eyes and back behind one ear.

"Billy," Her hand made the sign for 'B' and then flipped over to mimic the motion of turning a page.  "Would you mind pairing up with Teddy for the conversation?"

She spelled out Teddy's name again and then gestured to him.  Teddy waved and gave a smile.  The new kid bit his lip and simply shrugged in reply.

 _"Thank you."_   Ms. Kilven signed and turned back to return to the front of the class.

Teddy took a seat and Billy looked down at the stack of papers he had been engaging with and the desk next to Teddy before leaving whatever task he had been engaged in and taking the seat next to him.

"Now, from here on out—  Ms. Kilven spoke and signed.  " _No more speaking with your mouths."_ She signed, fingers moving slower now to ensure they all understood.  " _This is an advanced course and I expect you all to rise to the challenge."_ Her gaze drifted over the class.  " _Now that you've all been paired up I just want you all to spend the next 15 to 20 minutes discussing your summers.  Just a warm up.  If you don't know your partner, get to know one another."_

Teddy nodded and turned and smiled again at his new partner.  " _Hi, I'm T-e-d-d-y."_

Billy nodded.  " _I'm B-i-l-l-y,_ " then he made the same gesture Ms. Kilven had made when addressing him and shrugged.  " _I like to read."_ He informed, explaining the reason behind his sign-name.

Teddy wondered at that.  Only someone in the Deaf or hard of hearing community could give you a sign name.  He wondered if Billy might have a sibling who was Deaf or hard of hearing or if maybe he had a lot of friends in the community.

 _"Cool,"_ Teddy signed.

Then they just looked at each other.  Teddy found himself thinking that Billy seemed really…cool...or at least he _looked_ cool in his threadbare Star Wars tee with little holes in the collar and the seam of one sleeve; with the two long chains around his neck; with the numerous bracelets on his wrist; with his his torn jeans and converse sneakers; with the turquoise plugs in the lobe of each ear (nothing huge but still noticeable) and one nostril pierced by a thin hoop.   All in all, he had a very punk rock vibe going on.

Teddy started when he realized he was just gawking like some doofus.

" _Sorry,"_ He signed.  _"I like your…p-l-u-g-s.”_

 _"Thanks,"_ Billy replied, ducking his head and causing the swoop of hair behind his ear to fall forward in front of his eyes again.  He looked back up and showed Teddy the appropriate sign for “plugs” and Teddy copied it obediently.  " _I like your piercings too."_ Billy complimented in return.

Teddy grinned proudly at the mention of the series of titanium rings that ran up the shell of each ear.  _"Thanks, my mom_ ** _hates_** _them."_ He gestured emphatically.  " _So…you new here?"_

_"Yeah,"_

_"Where from?"_

_"I was going to L-e-x-i-n-g-t-o-n School for the Deaf."_ Billy answered.

Teddy felt his eyebrows shoot up without his permission.  And for the first time he noticed the clear tubes that snaked their way from behind Billy’s ear and into his ear canals.  Then Billy having a sign-name and Ms. Kilven having to wave in order to get his attention aligned in his brain leaving him feeling like a complete moron.

 _"Yes, I'm Deaf."_   Billy answered the unasked question with a visible flash of irritation arcing across his eyebrows and stiffening along his lips.

 _"Cool—“_ Teddy’s fingers fumbled, knotting together as he tried to sign _.  “I—that's not cool—not that it's bad!  I mean…"_ Teddy felt like a complete asshole.  “Shit!”

“Teddy!”  Ms. Kilven scolded as she walked through the class observing the conversations.

“Sorry,” Teddy whispered and signed.

Then Billy literally snorted and it caused Teddy to cringe slightly and return his attention to the guy he had probably just really insulted.  Then he realized that Billy was actually laughing, lips pressed together in a smirk and shoulders moving up and down with it.  Teddy found himself chuckling along, mostly in relief that he hadn’t completely offended Billy.

 _"I'm an idiot."_ Teddy signed, making sure to form his features into a doofie collection of rolling eyes and misaligned lips.  Ms. Kilven always said his facial features made him perfect for ASL.  _“I’m sorry.”_  

Billy shook his head and actually grinned.  _"It's okay.  I’m just…on edge…you know, first day…”_

Teddy felt the muscles in his neck and shoulders release.  “ _Totally get it…still sorry…”_

Billy waved off his second apology with gesture Teddy felt fairly certain wasn’t an ASL sign.

_”So…how'd you end up in this class?"_

_“I’m aiding for Ms. Kilven."_

_"Cool, so why'd you change schools?"_

Billy took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.  _"My mom…she's a psychologist…so she’s always reading research.”_ Billy’s hands began moving more quickly as he lapsed into something of a rant. _“She says I need to_ ** _integrate_** _.  She says the world isn't fair and that my chances of success are better if I know how to get around with hearies."_ He rolled his eyes at the end.

 _"Wait…what's?"_ Teddy mimicked the sign with his index finger that made it seem like something was tumbling out of his mouth.

_"Oh, sorry.  H-e-a-r-i-e-s.”_

_"Oh,”_

_“So…here I am.”_

_“Well, welcome.”_ Teddy grinned.

_“What made you decide to learn ASL?”  Billy asked._

Teddy shrugged.  _“I needed to take a language and everyone learns French or Spanish.  I thought this would make me stand out in my college applications.  And…”_ Teddy smiled shyly a little worried about what Billy would think of him.  _“It’s also kind of cool knowing a language that doesn't use your voice.  It’s like a secret.”_

To his relief Billy smiled and nodded.

 _“Plus,”_ Teddy added quickly.  _“I get to communicate with a whole community that lots of people never really talk to.”_

Billy’s smiled widened into toothy grin.  _“Good answer.”_

Emboldened by the improvement in the flow of their conversation Teddy started to ask a question.  _“Sooo…”_ but he instantly became unsure of himself once again and trailed off.

Billy’s smile didn’t fade.  _“It’s okay, you can ask.  I get it.”_   Billy brushed the hair out of his eyes.

Teddy nodded before taking a breath and forging ahead.  _“Can you speak?”_

_“Yeah, I can also read lips.”_

_“Wow, that’s like knowing three different languages.”_

Billy looked both pleased and embarrassed at that statement but before either of them could say anything more Ms. Kilven ended the discussion and drew everyones attention back to the front of the class.  Billy lingered for a moment before sliding out of the desk.

Teddy turned at the waist to face him.  _“Nice to meet you.”_   He signed.

 _“Me too.”_   Billy replied and went back to whatever tasks Ms. Kilven had set him to.

Teddy turned back to focus on Ms. Kilven as she went over the syllabus and class rules.  Despite himself, Teddy found his eyes darting back to look at the new guy.  On one occasion Billy seemed to sense his gaze and Teddy had been caught and could only offer a sheepish smile before quickly turning his head to hide his embarrassed flush.

First day of school and Teddy had already been late to class, stuck his foot in his mouth several times, and probably creeped out the new guy in school.  Junior year was not off to a great start.

 

 **_…You play the game, though it’s unfair…_ ** 2

 

Teddy had just pushed out the glass doors at the front of the school when he caught sight of Billy again.  He was sitting on a low wall, a triangled half of a sandwich in one hand and book in the other.  It was a library book if Teddy wasn’t missing his guess, the clear plastic cover was what gave it away; the clear, protective barrier was well smudged with the prints of countless fingers.  

Billy was alone.  He was the new kid in a totally different school, and he was Deaf.  He had to be feeling insanely out of place and isolated.

Teddy definitely knew all too well what that felt like.  He had spent all of middle school and most of Freshman year as a socially awkward, invisible outcast amongst his peers.  It was unsettling just how lonely you could feel in the midst of a crowd.  

He thought about going and sitting with Billy; he thought about sitting and eating lunch with him; he thought about taking him a few blocks over and showing him the amazing shawarma cart that was always parked there.  There were only a handful of people in the school that knew any ASL and Teddy could maybe make Billy’s transition a little easier.

But Teddy didn’t move.  He just started staring again.  He took in the span of Billy’s neck as it curved up behind his ear; the unruly fall of his coal-black hair;  the stretch of his shoulder-blades beneath his shirt— 

“Yo, Altman!”  Greg hollered from the sidewalk.  “What the hell are you gawking at?  Let’s _gooooo_!”

Teddy felt thousands of pin-prick stings skitter up his neck and into his face in a sudden wave.  His ears went scalding  hot an instant later.  He jerked his eyes from Billy and hurried down the steps leaving Billy alone on the wall with his book and his sandwich.

“What the hell were you doing?”  Greg demanded as Teddy caught up to him and a few other members of the basketball team.  “Checking out some hottie?”  He elbowed Teddy suggestively and waggled his eyebrows.

If only Greg knew…Teddy kept a lot of things about himself a secret.  It was the price he paid to keep from being invisible again or worse.  

“No…it was nothing…” Teddy grumbled.  

He felt icy shards of shame plopping unpleasantly into his gut.  He had had the opportunity to extend a friendly hand to Billy and maybe make his first day a little easier; instead he had just left him there to run off with his own friends.  Teddy didn’t like thinking about what kind of person that made him.

 

 **_…Turn it around, get a rewrite…_ ** 3

 

Teddy tossed his half-eaten burger into a trash bin as they returned to the school campus.  His eyes immediately returned to the wall where he had last seen Billy only to find it unoccupied, no trace of the new guy in sight or any indication that he had even been there in the first place. 

Teddy sighed and made up an excuse to get away from his friends early and head over to his biology class.  He didn’t want to make the same mistake he had that morning.  His eyes combed the school as he went and he tried to tell himself that he wasn’t actually attempting to search out Billy.  He went to his locker and changed out a few of his books before heading to class.  When he entered the room he pulled up short when he noticed Billy seated in one of the desks, eyes staring down into whatever book he’d been reading at lunch.

Teddy saw a few people he knew over in one corner of the class but took in a breath and instead went and took the seat behind Billy.  He hesitated for an instant, hand quivering in the air above the other boys shoulder before he finally placed it down lightly.  He felt Billy startle before he turned, his forehead creased.  His eyes went a little wide when he recognized Teddy.

“Hey,” Teddy said.

“Hi,” Billy replied.

It was the first time he’d heard Billy speak.

Teddy felt very proud of his nonchalant reaction to how clear the other boy sounded in comparison to how Teddy had heard Deaf individuals portrayed in movies and TV.  He hoped it maybe made up for that morning when Teddy had fumbled around the topic of Billy being Deaf.

“How’s the first day going?”  He inquired verbally and with his hands.

Billy gave a half smile and shrugged.  “Okay…I guess…”

“You’ll get used to it.”  Teddy assured, which was probably a trite thing to say and totally lame.

Teddy was denied any further attempts at awkward smalltalk when their teacher, Mr. Romero, walked in and began calling for silence and writing on the board.  Billy’s mouth opened and then closed before he turned back around in his seat.  Billy watched Mr. Romero intently as he moved around the room, walking along the length of the front row of desks as he went through the roll call. 

“Billy Kaplan?”  Mr. Romero called but Teddy knew Billy wouldn’t likely be able to read the teachers lips from the angle he was turned.

Teddy wavered for a moment before tapping the other boy on the shoulder.  Billy looked back at him with a raised eyebrow.

“ _Teacher’s talking to you._ ”  Teddy sighed quickly.

Billy spun around in a clear panic and looked up at Mr. Romero.

“Billy Kaplan?”  Mr. Romero inquired, slowly, his bushy eyebrows furrowed.  They were like a couple of fuzzy caterpillars that had settled above his eyes.

Billy cleared his throat and Teddy watched as his shoulders rose and fell as he took in a deep breath.  His fore and middle fingers came up and touched his throat lightly before he spoke.  “Yes.  Here.”

Teddy frowned when he immediately heard a few other students asking about “the new kids” accent.

Mr. Romero’e eyes passed over Billy and rested on the hearing aids.  “I’m sorry, are you hearing-impaired?”

Teddy cringed at the use of the term and watched Billy’s shoulders bunch up on either side of his neck.  “No,” Billy corrected.  “I’m Deaf.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”  Mr. Romero replied, clearly flustered.  “Will there be an interpreter.”

Billy shook his head.  “Not today.  There was a mixup.  But it won’t be a problem.  I’m okay.  I can read lips.”  His head pivoted to glance quickly around the room, obviously taking in the muttering around the classroom.  “If you could just remember to face the class when you talk I should be good.”

Mr. Romero had just begun his pacing (apparently that was a habit) and jerked to a halt.  The teacher seemed very uncomfortable and Teddy could tell Billy was gearing up to argue.

“I’ll help him out.”  Teddy spoke up quickly.  

The fuzzy caterpillars on Mr. Romero’s forehead shifted into a questioning look.  “I know ASL pretty well.”  Teddy explained.

Billy turned to look back at him.

 _“I Offered to help out if you need it.”_ Teddy signed.

Billy’s lips pressed together in a tight line.  _“Fine.”_   He signed curtly.  He closed his eyes for a moment before then adding a quick:  _“Thanks.”_

Teddy somehow felt like he was being an ass.  He just couldn’t seem to catch a break with this guy.

Thankfully, the rest of the class passed fairly uneventfully.  Billy paid attention with dogged determination and Mr. Romero constantly jittered as he remembered not to pace the room as he spoke.  As a result, Billy didn’t require much Teddy’s assistance.

The bell rang and Billy quickly began to gather his things.  Teddy caught his attention with a pat on the arm (because he was apparently a glutton for punishment) and rubbed the back of his head before saying:  “Sorry…if I, like, overstepped or…”

Billy shook his head.  “No, it’s okay.  It’s just the third time today I’ve had that conversation and I probably need to have it three more times before today is over.”

“Well if you need anything, even if it’s for me to, you know, back off, just let me know.”

Teddy thought he saw a pink hue creeping into Billy’s cheeks.  “No…I appreciate it.  I really do.  Thanks.”

“Any time.”

“Well…I should…uh…find my next class.”

“Sure…see you around I guess…”

Billy nodded and stood, plucking his messenger bag up from the ground and exiting out of the classroom.

Teddy had the irrational urge to spring up and run after him and offer to help him find his next class.  But then he worried that would come off as more coddling or perhaps even creepy.  So instead he purposely returned his book and notebook to his pack slowly and methodically.

“Teddy, do you know the new guy?”  Ashely, one of the school cheerleaders, asked as she neared him.

“Uh, yeah.”  Teddy replied.

“Is he, like, really deaf?”  Her best friend Paige, followed up.

“Yeah, he is.”

“That’s crazy.”  Ashley exclaimed.

“I mean, it’s super admirable that’s he’s trying to be in a normal school.”  Paige noted

Teddy felt himself bristle at the condescension.

“Plus, he’s _all_ kinds of cute.”  Ashley added wistfully, her eyes tracking Billy as he left.

“Totally,” Paige agreed with an enthusiastic nod.

Teddy tried really hard not to think about that fact that he had drunkenly made out with Paige at a party over the summer.  As previously stated, Teddy had made a lot of bad choices the past two and a half years.

“Are you guys friends?”  Ashely asked.

Teddy shrugged.  “We have a couple classes together.”

“I didn’t know you spoke sign language.”  Paige remarked.

“I’ve been learning it since Freshman year.”

Ashely blew a puff of air out from between her apple-red lips.  “And _I’ve_ been taking French just as long and can only say ‘how are you’, ‘have a nice day’, and ‘where’s the bathroom?’.”

“It’s for my college apps.”  Teddy informed absently as he stood and slung his bag over one shoulder.  “Wanted to be fluent by senior year.”

“I wonder how he knows how to talk?”  Paige asked.

“Yeah, imagine trying to talk and not being able to hear…” Ashley agreed.

“Gotta get to class.”  Teddy said to Ashely and Paige who were still seemingly having a conversation with him despite his very minimal input.

He stepped out into the tide of students and forcibly resisted the urge to look side-to-side for Billy.  Teddy most definitely had a problem and it was a boy with eyes the color of whiskey, slender fingers, and smile that left him with the unpleasant feeling of his stomach turning over at the same instant his heart skipped a beat.  Junior year was not off to a great start.

\--

1 The Emotion by Børn

2 First by Cold War Kids

3 First by Cold War Kids


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's National Coming Out Day! In the spirit of today I am posting chapter 2 early. Hope you all like it.

**_…Everything you are, everything you were, everything you’ve been’s not everything you’ll be…_** 1

 

Billy turned around in his seat as the bell that signaled the end of fourth period rang out.  He had an amused grin on his face that had Teddy’s heart seizing unexpectedly.  It was a fairly common occurrence for Teddy these days when it came to this guy.

“Am I seeing things or did Mr. Romero say we’ve got to complete pages 137 to 158 for homework?”

Billy was missing his interpreter again.  Apparently the New York school system sucked at getting students the services they needed.  It was hit and miss if Billy would have an interpreter between one class and the next.  It made no sense to Teddy.  Shouldn’t Billy have one interpreter for the whole day?

Teddy smiled back.  “ _Your eyes do not deceive you.”_

Billy arched an eyebrow and smiled.  “ _‘Deceive’, good word use.”_

Teddy felt his whole body warm at the praise.  He had always been devoted to learning ASL but since Billy Kaplan had slipped into his life he had tackled the language with a previously unheard of vigor.  He had even taken to watching the news in ASL.

“Hey, Billy!”  Ashley greeted vocally along with her fledgling attempts at sign language. “Hey, Teddy.  How’s it going?”

Billy caught the movement out of the corner of his eye and picked up the greeting more out of context than anything else.

“Hey, Ashley.  Hey, Paige.  I’m fine.  You guys?”

Something hot and bitter bubbled just below Teddy’s chest and right above his stomach.  It was like a boiling ball of something sticky and thick.  He began shoving things roughly into his backpack.

“Good, can you believe the homework?”  Ashley continued cheerily.

“And over the weekend.”  Paige added miserably.

“Yeah, pretty lame.”  Billy agreed, before raking his hair back from his eyes and behind his ear.

Despite his suddenly foul mood Teddy tracked the motion with his eyes.  He always found that constant move very distracting for some reason.  He found himself itching to reach out and do it for Billy.  

Ashley’s eyes followed the same motion Teddy’s did and she smiled a smile that had laid claim to the hearts of pretty much every guy in the school.  She reached out and laid a gentle hand on Billy’s arm.  “Walk me to class?  I was hoping you could continue my sign lessons.”

Billy fidgeted from one foot to the next.  “Uh, yeah, sure…”

Teddy felt that bubbling mass in his sternum erupt like it wanted to explode from his chest or gurgle up his throat and out his mouth.  He wanted to say something mean, like how Ashley could _barely_ speak three whole phrases in French despite three years of classes, but held his words behind the clenched wall of his teeth.

“Awesome,” Ashely exclaimed.  “See you guys later.”

“Yeah,” Teddy grumbled.  “See ya…”

Billy gave him one last glance over his shoulder before Ashely had reclaimed his attention.

Teddy pulled out his phone and began flicking through it curtly for absolutely no reason.

Paige eyed him for a moment before murmuring:  “Yeah…I’m just gonna head to class.”  

Teddy looked up having completely forgotten that she was there.  “Oh, okay…”

“Have a good weekend.”

“Yeah, you too.”

Teddy got to his feet and his eyes fell on Billy’s desk and he noticed that he had forgotten his biology textbook.  He picked it up and carried it out of the classroom with him.  He realized he still didn’t know what Billy’s other classes were or where to find him.  He stared down at his phone, silently cursing himself for not having asked for Billy’s phone number despite the million times he’d thought about it.  It shouldn’t be weird asking for a classmate _slash_ kind-of-friend’s phone number, but Teddy couldn’t seem to help feeling perpetually wrong footed around Billy.  

Instead, he was forced to open his Facebook Messenger app, thankful he had at least requested to be friends with Billy on Facebook.  He shot him a private message and hoped Billy had the app on his phone as well.

Teddy spent the rest of his day checking his phone for new messages only to be greeted with a few asinine texts from Greg that he mostly ignored.  Instead of going straight home he loitered around the area near the school.  He wandered into a used record store he never knew existed; he perused a newsstand, annoying the owner by never buying anything; he bought a pretzel from a street vendor.  Finally, when he had just taken a seat on the edge of a fountain, his phone buzzed and he opened a message from Billy.

 

**Billy Kaplan:** Thanks, I was worried I’d lost it.

 

Teddy grinned and immediately began typing a response despite some part of him insisting he should wait a bit and not seem to eager.

 

**Teddy Altman:** Want me to bring it to you?

 

**Billy Kaplan:** It’s okay.  I don’t want to make you go out of your way.

 

**Teddy Altman:** How do you plan on getting all the homework done without it?  It’s cool, I’m running errands anyway.  

 

(Teddy was a lying, liar who told lies.)

 

The next message bubble contained an address.  It was definitely not on Teddy’s way to anywhere.

 

**Billy Kaplan:** Ok, but don’t feel obligated or anything.

 

**Teddy Altman:** Totally not a problem.  I’m on my way.  Be there in 15.

 

**Billy Kaplan:** Thanks.  Seriously.

 

Billy lived in a fairly fancy looking apartment building.  Teddy walked through the revolving doors and was greeted by a doorman.  Teddy’s own apartment had a doorman but it was a college student in a rumpled white shirt and poorly knotted tie.  This guy was, like, a _real_ doorman, with a hat and everything.

“Uh, the Kaplan residence?”  Teddy cringed at the upward inflection in is voice.

The doorman’s eyes glanced up and down Teddy’s body, his features looking supremely suspicious.  Teddy looked down at himself and his plain, white tee and well worn jeans.   

“And you are?”  The Alfred Pennyworth wannabe inquired.

“Teddy Altman…”

The man’s features never changed and he reached down and picked up a phone and dialed up to the Kaplan’s apartment, clearly unwilling to grant Teddy access to the elevators.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Kaplan.  I have a Teddy Altman who says he’s here to see you.”  The doorman said into the receiver.  He paused briefly.  “Very good, ma’m.”  He hung up the phone, and gestured to the elevators with a gloved hand (yes, gloved, seriously).

Once up the elevator and on the appropriate floor, Teddy made his way to the apartment listed in his message from Billy.  He didn’t need to knock however, as the door to the apartment was already open and occupied by a woman with short brown hair, round  glasses and shrewd, serious eyes.

“Teddy, I presume.”  The woman said, extending her hand.

“Yes, ma’m,” Teddy replied and extended his own hand to shake hers.  “Teddy Altman.”

The woman, Billy’s mother Teddy assumed, seemed amused by this as she released his hand.  “Rebecca Kaplan.  Nice to meet you, Teddy.”

“Likewise,” Teddy replied, trying to recall all of his manners.

“You know Billy from school?”

“Uh, yeah, we have bio together.”

Teddy heard the sound of bare feet thundering on the wooden floors.  

“Mom!”  Billy hissed as he came into view.

“What?”  Mrs. Kaplan signed and spoke at the same time.  “I’m just welcoming your guest.”

“Sorry,”  Billy apologized, turning away from his mother to fully face Teddy.  He was breathing a bit harder than the dash to the door should have left him.

“It’s okay.”  Teddy replied with both his vocal cords and fingers.

Ms. Kaplan’s eyes darted to Teddy’s hands and she smiled.  “You know ASL?”

“Teddy’s in the advanced ASL class I aide for.”  Billy explained in a rush.

Billy’s mother opened her mouth to say something else but Billy cut her off.

“I forgot my biology book today and Teddy brought it over.”

That stunned Teddy out his silent spectating of the exchange between mother and son.  “Oh, yeah,” he reached into his backpack and produced the book.  “Here.”

“Thanks,” Billy said taking the book back.  Their eyes met and held for a minute, longer than what most would likely consider appropriate for the situation.

Ms. Kaplan obviously noted the moment between the two of them and cleared her throat.  “Why don’t you offer the nice young man something to drink or eat since he came all the way to bring you your book.”

“Oh, yeah, uh…you want something to drink…or something?”

“Sure?”  Teddy replied uncertainly, worried Billy wanted him to leave.

“Excellent,” Ms. Kaplan stated.  “I was just putting on some tea.  Billy, why don’t you show your new friend your room and I’ll bring the tea by when it’s ready.”

_Mom!_ Billy signed almost spastically, eyes bulging.  _You’re killing me!_   Then he went rigid and turned to look at Teddy, his face reflecting his realization that Teddy understood all that.  Billy’s cheeks went an unmistakable crimson.

“Teddy, are you alright with green tea?”  Ms. Kaplan asked, as though the entire exchange had never happened.

“Uh…yeah…uh, huh.”  Teddy nodded slowly.

Ms. Kaplan smiled and turned to go into the kitchen.

Billy took a deep breath and some of the red seeped out of his complexion.  “C’mon, I’ll…uh…show you my room…”

Teddy surpassed a laugh when Billy clapped an exasperated hand over his eyes.  It was nice to see Billy being the one feeling off kilter for once.

He closed the door behind himself as he made to follow but pulled to a stop when Billy rounded on him suddenly.  

“Oh, take off your shoes first.”  His eyes glanced toward the kitchen.  “ _My mom’s neurotic about shoes in the house.”_   Then he rolled his eyes dramatically and they both chuckled together.

The apartment was pretty fancy.  It had at least four bedrooms and sported a cozy decor.  It was the kind of place that Teddy would have never thought Billy lived in given that all his cloths had a worn quality to them as tough they had been bought from a thrift store or had been worn and washed thousands of times.  Billy’s room however, that was pretty much exactly what Teddy would have envisioned it to be like.  

Not that he had imagined Billy's bedroom…he hadn’t…or only a little bit…a few times maybe…

  The walls were plastered with posters of movies like:  _Star Wars and Mad Max_ along with band posters like:  _Arcade Fire, The Beatles and Greed Day_.  There was even a _Jurassic Park/Game of Thrones_ mashup poster that had a dragon’s skill in place of the T-rex skull and read _Dracarys._ String lights had been nailed into the exposed, red-brick wall at the head of his bed and they shone in a startling electric-blue.  

It was just so… _Billy._

Billy shut the door behind them and gestured inelegantly to the room around them.  “I guess I Should’ve warned you, I’m a massive nerd.”

“That’s an…” Teddy’s hands stilled.  “How do you sign ‘understatement’?”

Billy demonstrated the sign with a cringe.

“Thanks—that’s an understatement.”  Teddy continued.  “And it’s awesome.”

Billy looked uncertain, as though he were waiting to be the butt of some punchline.

Teddy’s eyes continued to scan the room and stopped on the bookcase.  “Are those comics?”

Billy looked down and his fingers went through his hair, “Yeah…I—“

“Joss Whedon’s _Astonishing X-men_!”  Teddy noted excitedly as he plucked one of the books from the array of comics in protective sleeves.

“Yeah,” Billy said, head cocking to the side.

“I love the X-men.”  Teddy said, still looking down at the comic.  “Can I…?”

Billy shook his head as if to clear it.  “Y—yeah…”

Teddy brought the comic over with him as he sat at the edge of Billy’s bed, caught up in the child-like joy comics always inspired.  It had been so long since he could talk to someone who was not on an online chatroom or message board about comics.

“I always hoped I’d wake up one day and find out I was a mutant.”  Teddy said, sliding the comic out of it’s sleeve and flipping through the pages.

“Me too!”  Billy dropped down to sit with him on the bed, his features lit up in excitement.  “I…I always wanted to wake up and have telepathy, then I could read minds or hear through other people’s ears.  Or…I dunno…maybe not hearing would’ve been some side effect of some other superpower…”  Billy shrugged dismissively.  

And shit…Teddy didn’t really know how to respond to that but he found himself saying:  “I used to think that if I was gonna be an outcast I’d at least like to have powers.”

Billy’s eyebrows furrowed.  “You?  An outcast?  The super-popular basketball player?”

Teddy made a face.

“I’ve still got eyes.”  Billy explained with half-grin.

Teddy gave a forced laugh.  “Yeah…that was not always the case.  I used to be invisible.  I had exactly zero friends.  No one even knew I existed until…until Greg saw me playing basketball one day by myself.  I was actually pretty good but had never had the guts to try out for the team.  He basically recruited me and then once I was hanging out with him it was like I had taken off some cloak of invisibility and…yeah…”

“Wow,” Billy unsuccessfully surpassed a laugh.  “Was that a _Harry Potter_ reference?”

Teddy shrugged helplessly.  “Guilty.”

“Never would’ve guessed that Teddy Altman was a nerd and an outcast.”

“Surprise…”

They lapsed into silence before Teddy spoke up again.  “It might be too late to develop mutant powers but you could still be Dare Devil.”

“Oh yeah?”  Billy smirked.  

“Totally,” Teddy replied.  “Guy losses one of his senses, all his others become super-heightened, high school kid by day, vigilante by night.”

“I wish I was that awesome…”

“Never too late to start.”

“I never really got into Dare Devil.”

“What?  Seriously?”

“Why, because he’s blind and I’m Deaf?”

Teddy snorted.  “No, because those comics are fucking amazing.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely,” Teddy assured.  “I’ll lend some to you.”

“Cool,” Billy smiled.

Teddy felt the lure of gazing into Billy’s eyes again and jerked them down resting his eyes instead on the necklace Billy always wore.

Teddy cleared his throat.  “So…do those have some meaning or something?”  He asked, looking for something else to talk about.

Billy followed his gaze and held up the different pendants so Teddy could get a closer look.  “The hour glass is for my mom.”  He explained.  “The heart is for my dad, he’s a cardiologist.  The two crossed swords are for my little twin brothers, because they’re barbarians.”  He paused before the next pendant.  “The lock…that’s for _my_ twin brother.”

“You have a twin?”

“Yeah…he’s currently in juvenile detention.”

“Wow, for what?”

Billy let out a long gust of air before answering.  “Lot’s of things…fighting, stealing, vandalism.  He’s had a hard time…adjusting.”

“Adjusting?”

“Yeah,” Billy reached under his shirt and pulled out the other necklace that was always there, from it hung an old, tarnished, silver locket.  Billy opened it to show Teddy.  On one side was a woman with long, curly brown hair while on the other was a man with a shaved head.  “These were my biological parents.”

Teddy’s eyes shot up.  “Billy…”

“I was seven… _we_ were seven…we were heading upstate…family trip to Niagara Falls…all I know is there was a semi…”

Teddy reached out and put a hand on the other boy’s shoulders.  “Billy…”

“Mom and Dad didn’t make it…me and Tommy did…”

“Shit…I am so sorry.”

Billy gave him a small smile.  “You weren’t the one driving that semi on no sleep.”

“Still…”  Teddy gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Billy shrugged.  “We got adopted by a good family and the Kaplan’s have never once treated us like anything other than their own children.”

“Is that how…that accident…is that how…?”

“I lost my hearing?”  Billy finished.

Teddy nodded feeling a bit ashamed for asking.

Billy nodded.  “Yeah, or most of it at least.  ‘Profound hearing loss’”  Billy made air quotations instead of signing as he spoke.  “That’s what the doctors call it.”

“Billy, I—”

“If you say sorry one more time I am going to punch you.”  Billy laughed but Teddy heard how it choked some at the end.

Teddy seized by the insane urge to hug him.  Teddy wanted to pull him in close and shield him from the world.  He wanted to hold him until all of that pain was out of him.  It was a weird thought but he felt himself drifting forward anyway and he had a crazed thought that Billy might also be edging toward him as well.

The door to the room opened suddenly and Ms. Kaplan entered with a tray of two steaming cups.  The two of them went rigid and Teddy startled backward, snatching his hand back from Billy’s shoulder.  Billy’s mother looked between them and lifted an eyebrow before setting the tray down on Billy’s desk.

“Thank you, Mrs. Kaplan.”  Teddy managed.  

Mrs. Kaplan smiled as if she knew something.  “You boys let me know if you need anything else.”  She exited the room and left the door cracked behind her.

Billy got up from the bed and shut the door all the way.  “You want to listen to some music?”

“Sure,”

Billy pulled out his phone and put it on a stereo dock that was meant to look vintage.  Teddy noticed the system also played records and cassettes.

“Can I ask a stupid hearie question?”  Teddy asked.

Billy’s smile was wide.  Teddy thought that smile was beautiful.  

“You can ask me anything.  I promise.”

Teddy felt the prickling in the skin of his face that signaled blushing.  “I’m still going to preface them as ‘stupid’.”

Billy rolled his eyes but his expression was fond.

“What’s it like listening to music?”

Billy nodded and hummed thoughtfully.  “The hearing aids help me pick up ambient noise, so when music’s loud I can hear some of the instrumentals and the melody but mostly I feel it.”

Teddy frowned thoughtfully.

Billy jerked his head to the side in an invitation.  Teddy stood up and followed him to the corner of the room where the stereo sat.  Billy pulled something out of one of his desk drawers and handed it over to Teddy.  Teddy looked down and realized they were a pair of in-ear headphones.  Billy smirked and gestured for him to put them in his ears.  Teddy complied and the world was blanketed in a muffled silence by the squishy silicon of the buds.

Billy synched up his phone and selected something.  He turned the volume up and pressed play.  Teddy could still make out the music and nodded to himself, unsure what he was supposed to be hearing or not hearing.  Then Billy reached out and gripped his wrist.  Teddy found his breath hitching and holding tight in his chest.  Billy guided his hand to one of the speakers and pressed it flat to it, laying his own hand over Teddy’s.

" _Feel it."_   He signed.

Rather than the lyrics and harmonies Teddy focused on the bass and beat of it as it rippled though him.  He looked up and Billy was smiling at him.  Teddy smiled back.

Looking back on it all, that was the moment.  That was the moment Teddy fell in love with Billy.  It wasn’t really anything like falling.  It wasn’t really anything dramatic.  In fact, Teddy never even noticed it through the roar of everything else he was feeling in the face of Billy Kaplan.  It was a bit like catching the first subtle scent of rain right before a thunderstorm, there for a moment but gone once you tried to focus on it.

Everything before that moment had been raw attraction and interest.  It was in that small moment, after truly getting to _see_ Billy for the first time and surrounded by the wonderfully nerdy environment that was his room, that the first fledgling roots of love took hold of him. 

\---

1 Alienation by Morning Parade


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now with fewer typos!

**_…Ticking of clocks, gravity’s pull…_ ** 1

 

“You should’ve seen her, Ted.”  Greg droned on.

Teddy closed his locker and spun the lock and offered a monotone:  “Yeah?”

It was the bare minimum of a response but as usual it was more than enough encouragement for Greg to continue onward.

“Yeah, she was soooo fine!”

Teddy surpassed an eye roll as they began maneuvering through the crowd of students.

Greg never seemed to notice that Teddy was actually a thousand miles away.  He was usually content to just talk at Teddy. Teddy’s feedback was never really necessary for many of their contestations.

“The night had a _happy ending_ —“ he nudged Teddy suggestively in the ribs. “—If you know what I mean.”

Teddy did and he honestly didn’t give a shit.  Mostly Teddy hoped Greg hadn't been too much of a jerk to the poor girl.

“Speaking of bumping uglies, we need to get _you_ laid.”  Greg pointed out.  “When was the last time—“

Thankfully that was when Teddy caught sight of a familiar fall of dark hair in the crowd of students.  Teddy's head perked up and he felt a true smile tug at his lips.

Because of the schools block scheduling he hadn’t seen Billy yet and something in him always lit up when he caught sight of Billy for the first time on any given day.  He forgot all about Greg and whatever he was going on about and began making his way toward Billy, leaving Greg to stare at him in gaping confusion, abandoning him mid conversation without even a second thought.

"Hey!  Billy!"  He called out and waved like an idiot.  He cursed under his breath and wondered when he'd get it through his head that Billy couldn't hear him.

Teddy laid a hand on Billy’s shoulder and the other boy turned around with a frown on his face, like he was expecting someone he didn't like.  

 _"Hey, I brought that comic I was telling you about."_ Teddy signed excitedly, feeling impressed at his increased speed.  He unslung his backpack from one shoulder and pulled it around and reached into the main pocket and retrieved the comic and extended it to Billy.  “It’s Frank Miller’s run.  It is the essential _Dare Devil_ series.  It will change your life _.”_   He insisted.

It was the first time Teddy had brought a comic book to school.  It was the first time he had shared a comic with someone since elementary school.  It was simultaneously terrifying and achingly liberating.  

Billy looked down at the comic and back up at Teddy and the corner of his mouth curled upward.  “Still trying to convince me to become some Deaf-vigilante.“

“Can’t blame a guy for trying.”  Teddy replied.  “Besides, I’d rock as the supporting civilian buddy.”

 _Or pathetic love interest…_ Teddy thought to himself.  Because, yes, Teddy was finally starting to be honest with himself about what kind of feelings he was having for Billy Kaplan.  Teddy stamped those thoughts down hard, like they were the beginnings of a forrest fire.  Just because he was being honest with himself didn’t mean he was ready to examine said feelings just yet.  He was too afraid of what he might see if he did.

”Keep it safe or I will murder you.”Teddy teased.

Billy raised an eyebrow at him and the lifted the flap on his messenger bag and gently placed the comic inside.  He dragged his index finger across his chest, making an X.  “Cross my heart.”  He promised.

Then they started to do that thing where they stared at each other without speaking.  Teddy really didn’t understand why they still did that.  They were friends now.  They always had a lot to talk about but still they would lapse into these silences where they would look at one another and the air would become heavy and thick, like they had just stepped into a dense fog.  It always left Teddy feeling like there was too little air to breath.  

Billy's watch lit up and he glanced down, breaking the spell.  He frowned before signing:  _"Gotta go."_

 _"See you in fourth?”_ Teddy asked, knowing the answer.

_"Yeah,"_

_"Sweet,"_

Billy swept his hair out of his eyes and then waded back out into the crowd.  Teddy watched him go, more than a little distracted by the fact that he could see hints of Billy’s bare skin through the thin, white, White Lantern tee he was wearing.  Still smiling, Teddy walked back to Greg who was frowning with a mix of confusion and irritation at him.

"Are you seriously talking to that freak?"  Greg demanded.  "And was that a  _comic_ you just gave him?"

Anger sparked inside of Teddy.  ”He's not a freak."  He snapped.

“Well he sure as shit freaks _me_ out."  Greg retorted.  “You can barely understand him when he talks.  It’s like his mouth is stuffed with a bunch of cotton balls or something.  Plus he sits and reads by himself for lunch everyday.  What a fucking loser."

“You know, you can be a real asshole, Greg."  Teddy grumbled and then stalked off to class without looking back.

“What the hell's your problem, Altman?"  Greg demanded as Teddy walked away from him.

Teddy didn’t wait for fourth period to see Billy again.  When he walked out of the school for lunch he saw Billy sitting on the wall like always, this time instead of reading a book he was already a few pages into the comic Teddy had lent him.  Buffered by his anger at Greg, Teddy took a breath and walked to him, plopping down next to him on the wall trying for his most casual and cool posture.

Billy looked up in surprise.

“Hey,” Teddy greeted, bumping his shoulder into Billy’s.

“Uh, hey,” Billy replied.  “Come to make sure I’m not mistreating your comic?”

“Nah, thought I’d see if you mind me crashing your lunch hour.”

Billy’s eyes seemed to widen before he cleared his throat and spoke.  “I’ll have to make sure all my other friends are cool with it first.”  He made a show of glancing around.  “Yup, looks like I can squeeze you in.”

Teddy laughed.  “I’m surprised Ashley hasn’t been sitting with you.”

Billy shrugged and looked a bit uncomfortable.  “She’s asked me to have lunch with her and some friends,” he admitted.  “But I keep making excuses.”

Teddy would be lying if he said he wasn’t relieved to hear that.  He didn’t know where Billy’s relational preferences laid but he was selfish enough to not want him romantically involved with _anyone_ at this point.

“If I’m intruding or something, I could—”

“—No,” Billy answered quickly and then steadied himself.  “I mean, I’d like you to stay.”

Teddy smiled.  “Cool.”

They lapsed into silence as Billy moved to put the comic back into his pack.

“Hey, you like shawarma?”  Teddy asked.

Billy nodded.

“You wanna get some?  There’s this awesome food cart that sells the best shawarma I’ve ever had down the street.”

“Sure,” Billy replied, putting his lunch back into his pack as well.

They hopped off of the wall and Teddy led the way.  

Teddy could see Greg and a few of their friends gathered on the sidewalk.  He knew they were all looking at him but pointedly kept his gaze averted.  

“Altman, what the hell are you doing!?”  Greg demanded loudly.

Teddy looked at him and didn’t say a word as he turned and walked the opposite direction.  Billy, while unable to hear it, looked back at Greg and the other basketball players and then at Teddy.  Teddy knew he likely understood what had just happened but didn’t say a word in response.

 

 **_…Candy, sweet like candy in my veins…_ ** 2

 

“I’m just saying that staying in the city it a tactical mistake.”  Teddy argued, shawarma in hand as he attempted to sign with one hand and generally failing.  

“Uh, huh…”  Billy drawled, voice going high with his own impassioned argument.  It was higher than Teddy had ever heard him take it.

“I’m serious!”  Teddy exclaimed despite his laugh.  “It’s a densely packed area.  Zombies everywhere!”

Billy lifted an eyebrow, his features arranging into one so boyish and handsome it almost made Teddy forget how to walk.

“And you would go…?”

“Somewhere sparse…upstate maybe.”  Teddy felt proud of his sustained ability to walk and talk in the face of his teenage hormones.

“And you’d survive on what?”

“I’d hunt?”  Teddy shrugged.

“Been hunting much?”

“Well…no…not exactly…”

“And when winter hits?”

Teddy frowned.

“The city is where all the relief efforts are going to be.  This is where the national guard and military will come.  There are defensible positions and access to nonperishable food sources.”

“And water?”

“Yes, water too.  Water won’t immediately just shut off.  It could last months, maybe a few years.”

“And if the government decides to quarantine and then nuke the place?”

Billy rolled his eyes.

“You’ve seen it happen!”  Teddy countered with a poke to Billy’s shoulder for emphasis (and maybe the excuse to touch him…).  “T _he Avengers, Colverfield, 28 Weeks Later_!”

“Whatever,” Billy drawled.

They continued to walk a bit aimlessly for the remainder of their lunch hour talking about all the nerdy stuff Teddy hadn’t really been able to talk about in what felt like ages.  It left Teddy feeling like he had maybe had a couple of strong drinks. 

“Did you see _Alien Covenant_?”  Teddy asked before taking a bite of his shawarma.  Then he immediately felt stupid because that was a movie that was only in theaters.  He suddenly realized then that he wasn’t exactly sure how people who were Deaf watched movies.  He’d never been to an American movie where there were subtitles.

To his alleviation Billy just nodded.  “Yeah, I thought it was…an improvement.  I mean, what the hell even was _Prometheus_?”

Teddy laughed in both relief and in agreement.  “Right,”

“Having the crew made up of couples at least helped account for some of the asinine choices people made.”

“True, but I still have sooo many questions.”

“Ridley Scott is obviously a sadist who likes to watch his fans suffer.”  Billy joked.

They were just coming up on the school when the first bell rang out signaling that it was time for fourth period.

Billy looked down at his watch and actually groaned.  “I don’t want to go to bio…”

Teddy smirked.  “Okay,”

Billy frowned in confusion at him.

“Let’s not go.”  Teddy elaborated.

Humor began to gather at the corners of Billy’s mouth.  “Are you suggesting we ditch?”

Teddy pursed his lips as though considering, as though it were a difficult decision.  “Maybe…”

“Lets go to a movie.”  Billy suggested eagerly.

“Dude,” Teddy exclaimed.  “You know what just came out, right?”

“ _Wonder Woman_!”

That was how Billy and Teddy ended up on a subway car on their way to the nearest theater.  It was crowded and it forced them to sit close to one another, knees and elbows jostling as the car sped through the tunnel.  Teddy felt nearly giddy because of it.

Teddy angled his torso so Billy could see his lips and hands clearly.  "Alright, stupid question…”

Billy smirked expectantly.

"How's this movie thing gonna work?"

Billy didn’t say a word and only signed: _“You'll see."_ While wearing his most mysterious expression.

When they arrived to the theater and purchased their tickets Billy led him over to the guest services counter.

“Caption glasses, please.”  Billy requested to the young woman behind the counter as he handed her his ticket.  The young woman seemed momentarily taken aback but began messing with something behind the counter before returning Billy’s ticket along with a bulky pair of what Teddy thought looked a little like 3D glasses.

Billy thanked the girl then placed the glasses on his head and waggled his brows at Teddy.

"Those glasses _cannot_ be for real."  Teddy flicked at the thick, giant lenses that protruded from Billy's face.

"Afraid so."  Billy replied.  “I can sometimes read the actors lips but lots of times the way movies are cut and shot makes it way too difficult.”

"Why don't they just put captions on the screen?"

 _"_ Hearies don't like it."Billy shrugged.  “They say it's distracting."

"That's stupid."

Billy smiled a fond smile at him and knocked a fist against Teddy's shoulder.  "I'm over it.  Believe it or not these are way better than some ways they used to _accommodate_ us."

Teddy gave him a questioning look.

“I used to have to use a little screen with captions that fit inside the cupholder in my seats.”

Teddy blinked at him and Billy laughed.

The glasses were probably better but Teddy still thought it was kind of ridiculous.  Just add captions.  What the hell was the big deal?  But, in any case, he was just glad he still got to experience going to the movies with Billy.

“Popcorn,” Teddy said, placing a hand on Billy’s back between his shoulder blades, like he had been wanting to for what felt like ages, to steer him toward the concession stand.  “I need popcorn.”

He held his breath as he felt Billy’s muscles and bones move beneath his palm.

“And Kazoozles.”  Billy added, seemingly comfortable with Teddy’s touch.

Teddy gave him a serious look and cocked his head to the side.  “C’mon, of _course_ we need Kazoozles.”

Billy smiled.  “And a slushie.”

“You are on the express train to diabetes.”

Billy laughed.

“I’m serious.  It’s not gonna be pretty when you lose a leg to gout or something.”

They made their way into the theater with a giant tub of popcorn, two boxes of Kazoozles and a cherry slushie.  Teddy was not lost on the fact that they had only bought one slushie, Teddy’s stomach was twisted into an excited knot over that little fact.  

Billy directed them towards the center most row.  “Helps with the glasses.  If I’m on an edge the captions can sometimes cut off faces and stuff.”  He explained.

Thankfully for Teddy the movie was engaging because every time their hands touched when they both happened to reach into the popcorn bin or they passed the slushie back and forth he felt like he was going to short-circuit.  

Seriously, he was amazed that his hair was not smoking or something.  He felt like he was on fire.

Every time he felt overwhelmed he refocused on the screen and the epicness that was Wonder Woman.  It literally helped him refrain from squirming out of his own skin.

When the movie ended Billy removed the bulky glasses and rubbed at his nose.  “They get heavy.”  He said.

Teddy noticed the two indentations they made on the bridge of Billy’s nose and was seized by the maddening urge to reach out and massage those out.  He stuffed his hands into his pockets, not trusting himself. 

By the time they were back in the subway the school day was over and they both had to head back home.

“Thanks for playing hooky with me.”  Billy said before he went on his way to the subway station that would take him home.

“Anytime,” Teddy replied, wanting to say a lot more but not knowing what to actually say.

“Okay, well…” Billy scuffed a sneaker against the sidewalk.  “See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see ya…”  Teddy waved and parted from the other boys company reluctantly.

Teddy was not supposed to be ditching anymore.  He was dreading the phone call that his mother would get from the school and the conversation they would have as a result.  But it didn’t matter, it was more than worth it, because from that day on things changed between Billy and Teddy.  Billy slotted perfectly into Teddy’s life, like a broken piece that Teddy had never known he was missing.

It totally made the grounding worth it.

\---

1 First by Cold War Kids

2 Electric Love by Børns


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much love for everyone who is following this fic and commenting! You guys are seriously the best.

**_…Let’s dance in this universe unknown…_ ** 1

 

The music was thunderous; it _pounded_ at Teddy.  It thrummed into the center of his bones, hard and relentless; it was like a second, more powerful, heartbeat; a gong that reverberated through him, overshadowing all other sensory input.  The ear plugs he had stuffed into his ears dulled the lyrics and the instrumentals, but the beat, the beat was a relentless force that would not be ignored.  

That was partly why Teddy had exiled himself to a couch near the back of the apartment where this party was taking place.  He was trying to catch his breath but the pulse of the drums stole the air from his chest before he could fill up his lungs.  He thought about going outside for a bit but that felt too much like admitting defeat; so instead he just sat.

It had been a good while since he had felt this out of place.  He hated feeling this way; it brought up far too many uncomfortable memories Teddy had buried.  It was like years of eating lunch alone wherever he could find a space while people moved around him as though he were an inconsequential piece of furniture.  It hadn’t been hell, it had been purgatory, and in some ways that was so much worse.

It left Teddy feeling this had been a terrible idea.  He had thought that he could keep up with Billy.  He had thought his signing was good.  As it turned out however, Teddy was still _totally_ bush league in the world of American Sign Language.

All he’d wanted was to be part of Billy’s world, just a little bit.  He’d also kind of wanted to astound him with his understanding and acceptance.  He’d wanted to show him he could keep up.  He had also wanted to impress him how cool and fun he could be in a party, because if there was one thing Teddy had learned it was how to party.  

It had all been selfish, really.

The night had started out well enough.  Billy took care to only introduce him to one or two people at a time and kept them from large clusters of people talking together.  Most of the teens had been curious about the “hearing guy” Billy had brought with him.  Teddy had been able to keep up one-on-one with people and most had probably gone a little slower for him (alright, a lot slower) out of courtesy at first.  But as the party really came to life things began to become increasingly chaotic.  People started drinking, the music ratcheted up, there was dancing, people’s signing began to speed up with their excitement.  There were signs Teddy had never seen, slang, abbreviations, and idioms; at times people seemed fully able to communicate with facial expression alone.    

When they were in groups Teddy couldn’t keep track of everything being said as his eyes darted frantically from one pair of hands to the next.  Before long his head was spinning and he felt like he was drowning.  He felt alone.  He felt like an outsider.  He felt certain he was ruining Billy’s night, that he was dragging him down.  

It had all built into a fever pitch until he was afraid he was going to vomit.  

Images of him puking up his mixed drink on everyone's shoes and embarrassing the hell out of Billy invaded his mind, like unwanted pop up adds in your web browser.

That was when he had told Billy he was going to the bathroom and essentially fled.  He’d spent a few saw-toothed moments in the small space where the toilet and sink resided and splashed cold water onto his face and just breathed.  He stared at himself in the mirror for a long time; his blond hair plastered to his forehead with sweat; his jaw muscles kneading beneath his skin.  He’d only had a couple of drinks but he felt completely muddled.  When someone knocked loudly on the bathroom door he had reluctantly vacated the bathroom and found the couch he currently occupied.  

He didn't want to bring Billy down or make him feel like he needed to worry about him.  He felt pretty bad, but this is what Billy probably dealt with most days he was at school, or any other place hearing people dominated.  So Teddy was doing his best to not feel sorry for himself, to not make this bout him.  He just needed to take some time to recoup before he went back and found Billy.

But Teddy couldn’t even seem to manage to get _that_ right.  

Billy found him before he’d even managed to scrape some basic semblance of balance back.  He knew it showed all over his face and posture.  It was like writing on a billboard for Billy.  The other boy sat down next to him on the couch.  He was close enough that the other boy was a warm line that ran along Teddy’s side from shoulder to ankle.  

_That_ was not helping Teddy chill.  Teddy was seriously at, like, negative chill at that moment.

_"Hey…"_ Billy gestured.

_"Hey,"_ Teddy replied.  He took in a deep breath.  _"I was just…taking a break…"_

Billy nodded knowingly rather than in agreement.  _"It's okay.  I know this all must be a bit much."_

_"I'm fine, really."_   Teddy insisted a little too quickly, fingers fumbling.

Billy gave him a sideways glance, obviously not believing a word he was signing.  _"Well, I'm ready to head out."_

_“Don't do that for me."_   Teddy shot, adding wounded pride and irritation to the confusion emotional cocktail he was experiencing.

_"I'm not.  I'm hungry."_   Billy returned, cool as summer rain.

Teddy turned to fully face Billy to give him the full force of his frown.  He did not want to babied, especially from Billy.

Billy only shrugged.  _"I know what it's like.  I've had my whole life to get used to it.  You'll get there but you don't have to do it in one night."_  

Billy’s shoulders were set and his brows had dropped low and close to his eyes. Teddy might not have known Billy all that long but he already knew that stubborn expression well.

For the first time in a couple of hours Teddy was starting to feel like there was solid ground beneath his feet.  The music was still alive and indomitable but it wasn’t dominating Teddy’s consciousness like it had before.  Everything always seemed to become less important when he was faced with the full force of Billy’s presence.  He even felt a smile slipping onto his lips.

That’s when he got an idea.

_"Okay…"_   Teddy conceded, and they both got to their feet.  _“…but first, you gotta dance.”_

That seemed to catch Billy off guard and the other boy somehow managed to lose his balance even though they weren’t walking yet and there was nothing to trip on.  All that cool assuredness vanishing in an instant.  Teddy placed a hand on his arm to steady him, chuckling to himself.

_“I don’t dance!”_   Billy signed while shaking his head.  _“I can’t!”_

Teddy rolled his eyes playfully.  _“_ ** _Everyone_** _can dance.”_

_“Not well!”_   Billy insisted, lips pursing petulantly.

_“C’mon, it’s a_ ** _dance_** _party.  We can’t go until we dance.”_   Teddy insisted before grabbing hold of the edges of the open flannel Billy wore over a worn Batman tee and pulling him into the throng of dancing bodies.

Billy’s eyes were wide as Teddy began to sway and jump a bit to the energetic rhythm.  For the first time that night Teddy allowed himself to surrender to the music.  He let it become a part of him.  It was like he had been fighting a river the whole night but now he had finally accepted it and allowed himself to flow along with the current.  Maybe that was the effect Billy had on him…or maybe it was just that the drinks were _finally_ kicking in.

He continued to dance as he watched Billy standing there flatfooted and awkward.   

_“C’mom, just let your body move with the beat.”_   Teddy encouraged.

When Billy remained stone-still Teddy laughed and reached out to place both his hands on Billy’s shoulders and began forcefully rocking him from side to side.  “Move your feet!”  He yelled.  “Just let go!”

Billy huffed out a breath but gradually began to move, first in a subtle bobbing in his knees that then traveled up into a shimmy in his hips, and finally into nodding in his neck.  

_“There he is!”_   Teddy encouraged with a wink.  

He was rewarded by a reluctant smile.  He was flirting with Billy and he was pretty sure Billy was flirting back.  He still wasn’t a hundred percent sure but Teddy was starting to think he was _maybe_ getting signals.

After a minute or so Billy began to move in earnest.  And watching him in that moment, eyes closed as he began to move in motions that began to finally resemble dancing, Teddy just couldn’t help but reach out and touch him.  At the touch of their hands Billy’s eyes shot open wide.  Teddy gave him a wicked smile and yanked him in close only to spin him out.  He reeled him back in only to spin him back out again.  Billy let out an audible squawk as he whirled, but he didn’t pull away, he didn’t resist.  Eventually Billy began to laugh in hearty shakes; his face became flushed and his skin was soon covered in a fine sheen of sweat; his chest pumped with his heavy breathing; his hair fanned out one way over his brow before swaying back the other.

_Beautiful…_ Teddy thought as he watched him.

He was so lost in the moment that when the music shifted to something much slower he stuttered to a jerky halt.  Billy blinked long, hard blinks as if coming out of a trance and confusion gathered between his brows.

_“Slow song…”_   Teddy mouthed.

_“Oh…”_ Billy mouthed back, looking down, the flush intensifying high on his cheekbones.

Teddy still held one of Billy’s hands between their bodies.  Neither of them moved.

Teddy held his breath and took a leap of faith, praying he had been reading this collection of moments right.  His whole body rattling, he released Billy’s hand to place both hands on Billy’s waist.  Then he began to gently rock to the new tempo.  He watched Billy’s Adams apple wobble as he swallowed hard.  Then the other boy bit his bottom lip and lifted his hands to rest lightly on Teddy’s shoulders.  Their eyes held one another’s and they simply teetered.  

And now Teddy _really_ thought he was getting signals, what with the way Billy’s eyes began drifting down to Teddy’s mouth and back up to meet his eyes.  Teddy stepped in closers, the front of their bodies brushing.  Teddy’s hands coiled around Billy waist to rest at the small of his back and Billy’s arms wound tight around Teddy’s neck.  Teddy felt pulled, like Billy was a gravity-well and he was a helpless piece of space debris.  He ambled in, surrendering to that hypnotic pull.  Billy’s head tilted a fraction and his eye lids fell closed.  Teddy stopped breathing, his own eyes sliding closed as a warm caress of Billy’s breath wafted over his lips.  

This was it.  This was happening—   

—There was a loud and sudden collective stomping of feet exploding all around them, shredding the petal-frail moment. 

The two of them startled apart and Teddy’s eyes darted around as tough he were going to see the collective eyes of the party were on them.  Instead he saw gestures of protest at the DJ and demands for more upbeat music.  It was a minor relief to see that Billy was also looking around in what Teddy assumed was a mirror of his own expression.  He let out a breath that deflated his entire torso.

Billy shrugged after a moment and signed:  _“Should…we go?”_

Teddy nodded, supremely irritated that the moment had been snatched from him.  He was also relieved because Billy had definitely been leaning in to kiss him too…hadn’t he?  Teddy wasn’t sure if he had ever questioned his own sanity this much before.

Once outside, the New York night air cooled the sweat on Teddy’s skin and it felt like a balm he hadn’t known he needed.  

They made their way to a nearby Joe’s Pizza.  They sat and shared a pizza and talked about small things.  Nothing was said about their dance, nothing more was said about the party.  The subject of any potential-almost-kisses was steadfastly avoided.  Teddy felt like a chicken shit.

Billy dropped a half-eaten crust onto the pizza dish.  “I should probably get home…” he signed and spoke.  “As much as my mother pushes me to be out and doing ‘normal teenage things’ she still worries when I’m out late.”

Teddy snatched up the half-eaten piece of crust and finished it off.  “That sounds pretty normal.”  He cocked his head and squinted one eye.  “Or are you ditching me so you can go fight crime with your secretly super-heightened senses?”

Billy gave him an unamused look.  As he slid out of his seat.

“What would your superhero name be?”  Teddy mused in exaggeration as they exited the pizzeria.    

“Hush?”  Billy offered.

Teddy wrinkled his nose.  “You're ripping that off of a Batman rogue.”  He smiled over at Billy.  “Besides, you are most definitely _not_ quiet.”

“Hey!”  Billy protested.

Teddy laughed and impulsively slung an arm over Billy’s shoulders and drew him in against his side.  Billy’s laughter and protests caught in his chest and he went rigid for a moment.  Teddy was just beginning to think he’d gone too far or made a mistake when Billy reached up and put his arm along Teddy’s shoulders in return.  Teddy smiled, warmth blooming in his chest.  It wasn’t a kiss, but it still felt like something, like maybe a confession.  

They stayed like that the rest of their walk; neither moved to break contact, not even when the angle was a bit awkward as they walked down the steps to the subway.  It wasn’t until they reached the gates and had to use their respective MetroCards that they finally separated.

As Billy’s train was pulling in Teddy thought about kissing him.  But they were in the middle of a crowded, arid subway station that smelled of baked garbage and that did not feel like the place for a first kiss.  Teddy was more of a romantic than he would ever admit to.  So instead they just faced each other for a moment.  Billy rocked forward on the balls of his feet only to drop backward an instant later.  

“ _See you at school?_ ”  Billy asked, fingers moving slowly.

“ _You know it._ ”  Teddy replied with a smile.

Billy smiled a small smile but his eyes were lit up like Time Square as he walked backward toward the open subway car.  “Cool…”

“Yeah…” Teddy replied.

Billy stared back at him, even as the doors closed, all the way up until the subway card sped away.  Teddy stood there in a bit of a daze waiting for his own train to arrive.  Billy’s scent still hovered in the air around him, the warmth of him was slowly fading from where he had been pressed against Teddy’s side.  

Teddy smiled and couldn’t stop.  He smiled until the muscles in his cheeks hurt.

Teddy could never have guessed just how quickly things could go from that feeling of happiness to total shit.

\---

1 Alienation by Morning Parade


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There will be slurs and bigoted comments as well as bullying. If these are triggers for anyone please be aware. The words of Greg Norris DO NOT reflect the opinions of this author. Greg is a douche.
> 
> Also, this work is unbeta'd so all mistakes belong to me.
> 
> And to all of you who have been following this and commenting: You are so amazing I do not have words. Thank you so much.

**_…And it’s all your fault I screen my phone calls…_ ** 1

 

Teddy pulled the trigger on his Xbox controller and watched the laser gun on his television screen fire.  The red beams collided with the sallow-skinned super mutant, incinerating it into a pile of glowing ashes.  It wasn’t nearly as satisfying as it usually was.  Normally Teddy could lose himself for hours in the Common Wealth wasteland of _Fallout 4_ but today it was doing nothing to draw him in.

Instead his mind spun inward to memories of the night before: memories of Billy and the feel of him as they had drifted together to a song Teddy could not seem to remember no matter how many times he fished the memory out of the pool of his consciousness.  All that had mattered in that glowing collection of moments was the smell of soft spice, clean sweat, and something subtle that was Billy’s unique scent; the slight dip of Billy’s lower back beneath his palms; the candle-soft look in his eyes—

—The television screen flashed in hazy red along the edges as one of the mutant hounds mauled his character.  His health was dropping rapidly and he had to administer a stimpack.

He hated wasting stimpacks. 

He could not get his head in the game.

He wanted to see Billy.  He wanted to have that kiss they’d been robbed of having, the kiss that he’d been too nervous to try for again.  It wasn’t going to happen today.  Billy had told him earlier that week that he and his family were heading up to the juvenile facility where his brother was held for a visit.  

He and Billy had swapped a few texts that day but they were stilted as they danced around the things not being said.  The result was Teddy beginning to question his sanity and veracity of that almost-kiss.

The _Imperial March_ rang out from his cell phone, startling him.  

Teddy paused his game and looked at the phone screen already knowing who it was on the other side; he was already dreading it.  He had been dodging Greg for the better part of the week and decided there was no more avoiding this conversation.

“Hey,” Teddy answered, forcing as much breeziness to his tone as possible (which probably caused his tone to come off as the exact opposite of breezy).

“Where the _hell_ have you been?”  Greg demanded without preamble.

Teddy repressed a groan.  He’d known this was coming.  “What do you mean?”

“I’ve been trying to get ahold of you since Friday.  Where the hell’ve you been?”

Teddy swallowed.  “Oh, uh, you know…out.”

“The hell is that supposed to mean?”  Greg’s voice was like the bark of an angry dog who’d just lost a squirrel up a tree.

“It means what it sounds like.”

“Why’re you being so goddamn shady?”

Teddy didn’t answer.  He didn’t really have a good answer for that.

“You’ve been weird lately.”

“I was at a party…”  Teddy finally answered.

Greg’s tone was soaked in incredulity.  “And you didn’t invite me!”

Teddy rolled the joystick around in meandering circles with his thumb.  “I was with Billy.”

“Billy?  The _deaf kid_!?”

“Yeah…”

“ _He_ went to a party?”  The audacity in Greg’s voice was beginning to ignite something hot and volatile inside of Teddy.

“It was with some friends of his from his old school.”  Teddy explained through the constriction in his throat.

“Wait…so you went to a party with a bunch of kids who can’t hear?”

“Yes.”

“How does that even work?”

That heat inside Teddy was beginning to boil.  “How does _what_ work?”

“A party full of deaf kids?”  Greg replied as though it weren’t the stupid question that it was.

“Are you kidding me?”

“What?”  Greg asked defensively.  “They can’t fucking hear!”

Teddy thought about his history with Greg.  He thought about how Greg had plucked him from the painful depths of obscurity and finally given him friends.  Teddy remembered all too well what it felt like to be alone, to be utterly invisible.  He remembered what it was like not to matter.

He also knew who Greg was.  He thought of everything he’d seen Greg do: every person he teased, harassed, and bullied.  He thought of what Greg would do or say if he really knew Teddy; if he saw the bookcase full of comics; if he knew Teddy was bi or gay or whatever it was he was; if he knew _anything_ about who the hell Teddy _actually_ was.

He honestly wasn’t sure if anyone he had been calling his friends over the past year and a half would be his friend if they really knew him.  It all felt strikingly hollow all of a sudden.  What the hell was the point of it all if it was all just one big lie?

It left Teddy with only one desire, to get out of that phone conversation.

“Whatever, Greg…I’ve gotta go.  I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

He hung up and ignored the six phone calls and string of texts that followed.  He was burying his head, avoiding a conflict that had to happen, but he didn't really know how else to deal with the situation.  Teddy kind of thought it would resolve itself eventually.  He was right.  He was also an idiot.

 

… ** _Hold back the river, let me look in your eyes…_** 2

 

Teddy walked into school with a frenetic jaunt in his step and an unshakable smile splitting his face and threatening to crack it in two.  He hadn’t waited to meet up and walk with Greg like he usually did.  Instead he went straight to school and right up to his first period fully expecting to see Billy and to get several minutes to talk to him before class began.  

Once inside the classroom his eyes went immediately to Ms. Kilven’s desk but Billy wasn’t there like he always was: either shuffling papers, entering grades, or reading a book.  Teddy frowned.  It was weird.  He looked around the room but Billy he wasn’t there; he wasn’t in the classroom.  That was odd given that Billy was always there before he was.  The dread was immediate, sweeping through Teddy like fever. 

Teddy took his usual seat and waited, eyes constantly darting toward the door as other students entered.  After the third bell rang and Ms. Kilven closed the door Teddy felt his heart sink and his mind immediately flooded with thoughts about Billy avoiding him, about him being creeped out by Teddy’s advances.  It was brutal.

He tried to remind himself that he and Billy had been texting the day before.  Things had been good, or at least they hadn’t seemed bad.  They had made plans for lunch, they were supposed to go Shake Shack.  

But maybe Billy was having second thoughts.  Maybe he was embarrassed about where things might be heading.  Or maybe Teddy was absolutely delusional and all the good things from Saturday night had been wishful thinking on his part.  Maybe Billy had just been being nice when really he was creeped out by the whole thing.

 _You’re catastrophizing._   Teddy told himself, quoting his counselors words.

The reminder helped…kind of…

Despite his best efforts at not being reactive, he covertly sent a text to Billy while Ms. Kilven began the days lesson.  

There was no reply.  

Teddy managed to make it through the rest of the class without sending another but sent a second midway through his second period. 

Still no reply.  

By lunch time Teddy had sent several texts ranging from expressing concern to apologies for the number of texts being sent.  When there was no sign of Billy at his usual lunch spot Teddy’s brain kicked into high gear.  He skipped eating and searched the entire school and the surrounding area but found no sign of the other boy.  It was irrational but he couldn’t help himself.  

When he went to fourth period and there was no sign of Billy it cemented the fact that Billy had not come to school.  Billy was not at school and he wasn't answering Teddy's texts.  Teddy felt crushed.

Greg found Teddy at the end of fourth.  He was surrounded by their typical group of friends and he smirked at Teddy, all pearly white teeth.  

“Something wrong, Teddy boy?”  His friend asked.  “Where’s your new best friend?  You know the guy: dresses like some nerdy hobo, talks like his jaw’s unhinged, and can’t hear worth a damn.”

Teddy bristled, the small hairs on the back of his neck rising up.  Something about the look in Greg’s eyes, something about his tone, made Teddy go cold all over.  Part of him wanted to lash out at Greg, demand that he never talk about Billy like that again, but another part of him became nearly frantic with worry.

That part of him won out.  He didn’t say a word to Greg and turned away.  Laughter from Greg and his friends followed him as he went.  He walked straight out of school, not even bothering to try and be sneaky about it.  His mind was singularly focused, narrowed upon one goal.  

He went straight for Billy’s apartment.  When he rang the doorbell he wasn’t sure what to expect.  He wasn’t sure if Mrs. Kaplan would be home.  He wasn’t even sure if Billy would be home or if he would know the doorbell was being rung.  He waited for what had felt like several long minutes before ringing it again.  He didn’t know what he would do if Billy wasn’t there.

After the third ring he finally heard the click of the door being unlocked and it cracked open.    

Billy looked at him from the hooded, shadowed depths of a red hoodie.  His eyes widened at the sight of Teddy and he jerked back.  Teddy had an agonizing moment where he thought Billy would slam the door shut in his face.

“Teddy,” Billy mumbled without signing, he didn’t open the door wider to admit Teddy inside.  “ _What are you doing here?”_   He asked, moving seamlessly into signing.

“I was worried about you.”  Teddy answered, speaking and signing.

“I’m fine.”  Billy answered curtly now with both his hands and voice.  

“It’s just…” Teddy faltered.  “You weren’t at school and we…”

“I’m just sick, that’s all.”

Teddy couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more going on.  “Is it—can I come in for a bit?”

Once again he thought Billy going to shut the door or turn him away but Billy finally nodded and stepped aside.  That was when Teddy caught a glimpse of something shadowing Billy's right cheek, right under his eye.  

"Hey," he demanded suddenly, as he pushed forward into the apartment.  _"What's that?"_

Billy turned his head away and pulled his hoodie further over his face.

"Billy?"  Teddy pleaded and without thinking touched the other boys jaw with the finger tips of his right hand in order to get Billy to face him.  

Billy met his eyes for an instant and before he dropped them and scowled.  His cheek was swollen and a purpled bruise had blossomed right below his eye.  

" _What happened?"_ Teddy demanded as he stroked his thumb gently beneath the wound.

Billy relaxed for an moment but then yanked away and turned his back to him, essentially shutting Teddy out completely.  Teddy felt something sinking in his gut, he felt an oily dread slosh inside his belly.

He stepped around Billy to get back in his line of sight.  " _What happened!"_ He rolled his wrists hard with the sign and furrowed his brows severely for emphasis.  

" _Nothing."_ Billy dismissed, forming his hand into an 'O' under his chin before making a gesture like he was throwing it away.

"That's not nothing!"  Teddy insisted, speaking as he signed once again.  "Who did that!"

Billy shrugged, eyes still low.  " _Doesn't matter."_

"Yes, it does!  Jesus, Billy!"  Teddy ran both his hands through his hair and tugged at the ends.  

Billy lit up at that, his posture going rigid and his eyes flashing in anger.  "Why the hell do you care?"  He demanded.  His gestures were clipped and dismissive.  

"Why do I—” Teddy didn't have a sign or a word in his head for any of this.  "Billy," He put his hands on the other boy’s shoulders and gripped hard.  He spoke slow and clear to be sure Billy could read his lips.  "Because I care about _you._   Jesus, Billy—I think I—”  He clamped his teeth down, sealing his mouth shut, afraid of what was going to come spilling out.  

Billy's brows furrowed in a question and he finally looked up. "What?"  He asked, the words barely audible.

Teddy took a deep breath.  He bore his eyes into Billy's before releasing his grip from one of his shoulders in order to sign right in front of his face.  "I _care_ about you."  He clenched his fist so hard on the sign for “care” that the skin pulled tight on his knuckles and turned pale.

Billy blinked at him.

Teddy’s heart hammered in his chest.  

 _"I care about you."_   Teddy repeated.

He gave the shoulder of Billy’s that he continued to grip one last squeeze before he slid it up to the back of Billy's neck and up into his hair.  Billy took in a shuddering breath but didn’t move.  Teddy stopped thinking, he just acted.  He leaned in slowly, giving Billy every nonverbal indication of what he intended and giving him ample opportunity to pull away.  

One of Billy's hands drifted up to rest on Teddy's hip, just barely hovering there, his other hand went up to Teddy's ribs, gripping the fabric of his t-shirt in a fist.  Teddy nudged his nose along Billy's, encouraging him to give him a good angle.  Billy complied instantly, his hood falling back just before he brushed forward and brought their lips together.  It felt like Teddy's heart had stopped beating and suddenly started up again, fluttering frantically, like a moth against a windowpane.  

He kissed Billy slowly and firmly, content to bask in the feel of the other boys lips moving against his own over and over.  It was Billy who deepened it, adding tongue to the exchange; he flicked it along Teddy's lower lip playfully before swiping it into his mouth, quick and brief.  That had been all it took for Teddy to push in harder, his own tongue sliding into Billy's mouth to grapple wetly.  Billy surged up to meet him and everything became hotter and more intense.

Then Billy let out a sharp: “Uh," and flinched away after Teddy's nose pressed into the fresh bruise on his cheek.

"Shit.  Sorry."  Teddy apologized pulling back.

Billy shook his head and smiled a small smile at him.

Teddy's hand came up and cupped Billy's jaw lightly to get a better look.  The sight of that mottled skin made him sick to his stomach.  He thought he knew the answer but he had to be sure. 

" _Who did that to you?"_   He signed awkwardly with his left hand, refusing to break contact with Billy's face.  "Please…"

Billy chewed his bottom lip for a moment before he finally spoke.  "Greg…"

 

 **_…To all the people I know that were lovers but turned into fighters…_ ** 3

 

Teddy didn't remember leaving Billy’s apartment.  He didn’t remember jumping on the J line.  He didn't remember getting off and walking the four blocks to Greg's apartment building. 

It was as if his consciousness had left the building.  

His whole world had become rust colored around the edges.

Things didn't really seem to click back into place until he saw Greg hanging out in the park across from his building shooting the shit with their friends.  Everything narrowed sharply into one point.  Greg was laughing at something one of the other guys had said.  When he saw Teddy he tossed cocky smirk over at him.

Teddy’s blood boiled and he strode right up to him

"Sup, Altman!"  Greg greeted as though it were any other day, as tough he hadn't attacked Billy.

Teddy's fist cracked across Greg's jaw and the other boy went sprawling backwards onto his ass.

Teddy panted over him, the stinging in his fist barely registering.  

"What the fuck!"  Greg demanded, hand going to his jaw.

Teddy wasn’t done, not by half.  He raised his fist again, fully intending to pound it into his onetime friend’s face over and over again.

Hands pulled Teddy backwards however, and kept him from hitting Greg again.

Teddy railed against the arms that held him.  Someone actually had to get in front of him and start pushing him backwards.  “Don't you ever touch him again!"  Teddy growled out, nearly screaming.

"What the shit are you talking about?"  Greg shot, scrambling to his feet.

Teddy struggled against the hands and arms restraining him, still trying to get at Greg.  "You know exactly what I'm talking about!  You touch Billy again and I'll beat the shit out of you."  He swore.  “Do you hear me?”

Greg scoffed bitterly and then spit, his saliva tinged red.  "Because of him.  Because of _him_!  After everything I’ve done for you!  What?  You gay for him now?"

"Yes."  Teddy didn't hesitate and he finally felt like he was cooling off and ceased his struggle.

The other guys seemed slightly taken aback by Teddy’s admission and were no longer holding him as tightly.  

Greg’s features constricted in disgust.  “Fucking fag."  He expelled the words from his mouth as though they were bile.  "We’re fucking _done_.  You hear me, Altman.  We're _fucking_ done."

Despite the fact that he wasn’t actively trying to knock Greg’s stupid teeth out of his fucking face, anger still roiled under Teddy’s skin, hot and dangerous.  “Good.”  He held Greg’s stare for a moment before he finally jerked out of the hands that were holding him.  "Just remember what I said.  I won’t stop next time.“

He shoved past the guys who had been calling friends for over a year.  Guys he had laughed with, joked with, guys he had called his teammates.  Not a one of them said a word to him.  Not a one of them made a move to follow him.  Teddy knew what this was.  Some piece of him was terrified but it was drowned out by the tsunami of rage that he was riding. 

Teddy stalked out of the park and didn’t look back.

“I fucking made you, Altman!”  Greg screamed after him.  “You hear me?  I made you and now you’re nothing again!”

The fucked up thing—the truly unfair and royally fucked up thing—was that Greg was right.

 

 **_…You are you are, my favorite medicine…_ ** 4

 

Teddy had apparently forfeited deliberate control over his body because the next thing he knew he was ringing Billy’s doorbell again.  Thankfully Billy’s family still wasn’t home and Billy answered the door, his face panicked.

“Teddy,” he breathed in relief.

Teddy didn’t say a word, he just lurched forward into Billy and buried his face in the crook of his neck.  He gripped the fabric of Billy’s hoodie into aching fists at his back.  Billy’s arms came up and squeezed.  Teddy started to shake as the adrenaline left him and his blood pressure dropped.  Billy was muttering things soft and slow against the side of Teddy’s head.  One of Billy’s hands came up and scratched soothingly at the back of his head.

They stayed like that for a long time and when Billy moved to separate Teddy clung tighter.

“Okay…” Billy whispered.  “Okay…”

It forced the other boy to awkwardly shut the door with one hand and then stumble them both back to his room.  He shut his bedroom door with his foot and managed to get Teddy over to his bed.

Teddy allowed himself to be lowered onto the mattress and Billy curled up with him their foreheads and tips of their noses touching.  

“I’m sorry…” Teddy whispered after a long while.

Billy frowned, unable to see Teddy’s lips properly.  He pulled back a bit and his eyes went to Teddy’s lips.

“I’m sorry.”  Teddy repeated.  

Billy shook his head frantically.

“It’s my fault that Greg—”

Billy’s hand went to Teddy’s mouth.  He didn’t say anything.  He just shook his head.  Then he leaned in but stopped halfway, his expression hesitant, as if he was unsure if his advance was wanted or permitted.  Which was absurd, because that was basically the only thing Teddy wanted right now.  Seemingly making a decision, Billy removed his hand leaned all the way in pressing a gentle, lingering kiss to the corner of Teddy’s mouth.  He trailed a series of moist kisses up Teddy’s cheek and up to his ear before kissing over to his brow then over Teddy’s eyes.

The attention both relaxed Teddy and sent a cascade of excitement along all his nerve endings.

Teddy wanted to lose himself in Billy.  He wanted to crawl inside of him and disappear.  He propped himself up and brought their mouths together in a hungry, searing kiss.  He brought an arm around Billy's waist to seal the front of their bodies together.  He felt Billy’s moan reverberate from his chest into his own.  

Teddy wanted to forget, even if it was just for a little while.

His hips ground forward into Billy’s and his hand slipped under his hoodie and t-shirt, finger kneading into the skin and muscle there.  Billy slotted a thigh between Teddy’s and one of his hands tangled into the hair at the back of Teddy’s head.

It was intoxicating and Teddy could pretend that his life might not be over.  He could forget that he was going to be invisible again or perhaps worse.  

He pushed forward tipping Billy onto his back and rolling on top of him.  He wanted to peel off Billy's cloths and kiss every gorgeous inch of him.  He wanted to taste him and smell him.  He wanted to flood his sense with this boy so there wasn’t room for anything else.

He was getting frantic with that need—desperate.  He moved his hands to Billy’s pants and started fumbling to unbuckle his belt.  He managed to get it part way open and then changed his mind and went to pull off Billy’s hoodie and—

Billy brought his palm to the center of his chest and pushed at him gently.  “Hey…easy there…”

Panic and shame rushed through Teddy and he pulled away and off of Billy and sat down.

“ _No, it’s not that.”_ Billy assured quickly as he sat up.  He always lapsed into sign when he was anxious and struggling to find the right thing to say.  “ _That was all_ ** _really_** _good, like, wow!”_   His fingers made “W’s” on either side of his mouth and his exuberant expression caused a chuckle to shudder out of Teddy.  _“Seriously, though, I’ve been wanting this for…”_   He shook his head.  “ _I’m not even going to embarrass myself by telling you.”_

Teddy laughed again and reached out to grip Billy’s calf.

“ _I just…”_ He brushed his hair back from his eyes.  “ _I don’t want you to do this when you’re upset…you know?”_

Teddy nodded in understanding knowing Billy was totally right.  “ _Yeah.”_   He signed.

“ _Plus my mom’s gonna be home soon with my brothers and I do not want to be caught in the act.”_

_“That would be awkward.”_

_“Understatment.”_

Teddy scrubbed a hand over his face and when he met Billy’s eyes again the other boy looked concerned again.

“What happened?”  Billy asked, a mirror of Teddy’s own questioning from earlier that afternoon.

“I maybe punched Greg.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah…”

Teddy told him what he could remember after he left the apartment.  He also told him about that day at school.  

Teddy scooted forward and let his fingers touch the bruise on Billy’s face, just gently resting on top of the skin.

“I was walking to school.”  Billy began.  “Greg and a few of the other guys came up behind me.  I couldn’t hear them—obviously—and they pulled my bag right over my head.  They dumped it out on the street, even your—fuck!”  Billy’s features pinched in pain and Teddy thought it was because of his hand on his face and pulled it back.  Billy shook his head.  “Your comic book…they ruined it and I promised you…”

Teddy chuckled in relief.  “Don’t worry about it, seriously, I can buy a new one easy.”

Billy’s eyes remained so earnest and his expression so devastated and apologetic that Teddy couldn’t stand it and leaned in and kissed him in order to chase that expression away.

“It’s okay.  I promise…it’s you I’m worried about.”  He said after he pulled away.

Billy nodded reluctantly and continued.  “That’s when I tackled one of the guys.”  Billy smiled sheepishly.  “Someone pulled me off of the guy up and then Greg punched me…felt like my fucking eye was gonna explode.”  Billy grumbled.  “It probably would’ve kept going if some rich girl hadn’t literally hopped out of a car and marched over yelling something.  I couldn’t hear and I was too dazed to read her lips.”

“Rich girl?”  Teddy arched an eyebrow.

“Like, legitimately rich.”  Billy assured.  “She had a _driver_.  Anyway, they all took off after that.  I don’t know what she said to them.  She was nice.  I didn’t catch everything she said because she could barely finger spell and I was totally out of it.  She helped me pick up my stuff and offered to give me a ride but at that point I was furious and embarrassed and worried I was going to start crying so I told her I was fine and came straight home.”

“Holy shit…”

“Yeah…”  Billy's eyes shifted downward.  "I thought--I had this crazy thought that maybe you...that maybe everything between us was some joke--some prank and that was why Greg was there..."

Teddy reached out and took Billy’s hands in his.  They were silent for a long while.  He squeezed on Billy’s hands a couple of times to get him to look up.

"This is for real."  Teddy assured.

Billy only nodded in obvious relief. 

They looked at each other for a few moments before Teddy asked:  “So...will you, umm…like…go out with me—or whatever?”

 _Well that was the worst…_ Teddy thought miserably.

But Billy beamed like Teddy had just told him he had been given unlimited access to all comic books ever.

“Yeah…yeah that sounds awesome.”  Billy replied.

“Cool,”  Teddy smiled back.

"Cool," Billy echoed.

In that moment the prospect of everything changing wasn’t all that scary, because Billy was his boyfriend and that felt pretty damn amazing.

\---

1 Spider Webs by No Doubt

2 Hold Back the River by James Bay

3 Viva Voce by The Rocket Boys

4 Trouble I’m In by Twinbed


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. It's a longish chapter so I hope that kind of makes up for it.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: For slurs, and generally bullying once again.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and commenting! I know I've said it before but it really does mean the world to me.

**_…You better want what you wish for.  It might happen…_ ** 1

 

Teddy got ready for school the next day with a stomach that felt as unsteady as the sea in a storm.  He wasn’t sure what to expect from Greg and his peers.  He knew there was no way that it could be good.  He tried to tell himself that he could handle it, that Greg and the others didn’t mean anything, but it just felt like empty words.

Then there was the whole rest of the school to deal with.  Teddy knew just how fast gossip could spread and he had no illusions about what kind of stir this would probably cause.  There were a few students who were “out” and _most_ people didn’t really seem to care but most was defiantly not _all_.  

“You alright, honey?”  His mother asked, head tilted to the side as she placed an earring in one of her ears.  

Teddy realized he had been poking aimlessly at his oatmeal and forced himself to take a bite.  “Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

His mother kept her gaze on him as she pulled on her blue blazer.  That blazer really made his mother look like a realtor.  “You know you can talk to me, right?”

Teddy looked up at her from a mouthful of inexplicably tasteless oatmeal.  He thought of Billy, he thought about coming out to her but he’d had enough excitement for one week, thank you very fucking much, and it was only Tuesday for Christ sake.  He felt fairly certain his mother would be alright, that she would accept him, but there was always that small chance…

“I know, Mom,” Teddy forced a smile.  “And I’m fine, just a little tired.”

His mother had moved to putting things in her briefcase.  “You missed your last three classes yesterday.” It was somehow both an accusation and a question.

“I told you, I felt sick.”  Teddy returned quickly.

“You should have sent me a text or called.”

“I know.  I was worried you’d say ’no’ or something.”  It was a weak excuse and he was fairly sure his mother didn’t buy it but she couldn’t prove anything.

“I just don’t want a repeat of last year.”  

“I know and I promise that’s not what’s happening,”  Teddy assured quickly before checking the time on his phone.  “And if I want to keep that promise I better get out of here.”

He got to his feet and dumped the bowl of mostly uneaten oatmeal into the trash before dropping the bowl in the sink and snatching up his backpack.  He kissed his mom on the cheek and hurried out of the apartment.  

“I love you.  Have a good day.”  She called after him.

“Love you too,”  Teddy replied before closing the door behind him.

Things were still strained between him and his mother.  Teddy owned a large portion of the blame for that.  But he didn’t know how to fix it and at the moment he had other things on his mind.  

His life was a bit of a train wreck.

He took a different route to school now that he was no longer aiming to meet up with Greg.  He was walking to school with someone else from now on.  He tried to focus on the bubble of happiness that rose with that thought.

He caught sight of Billy at their agreed-upon spot.  He was sitting on the edge of a fountain, fingers fiddling with the edges of his hoodie.  He looked nervous like maybe he wasn’t sure Teddy was going to show up or like he was afraid he might be jumped again.  

That all changed when Billy caught sight of Teddy; he broke into a sunny smile and slid to his feet.  Teddy couldn’t help but mirror the expression and leaned in to give him a quick kiss on the mouth.  Billy touched a hand to his elbow before sliding it down and twining their fingers together.  He looked up at Teddy and then back down at their joined hands and then back up again.  His features held a question and Teddy answered it by squeezing his hand and widening his smile.  

Teddy’s life might be a train wreck but he was certain of Billy Kaplan.  

From there it was only a couple of blocks to the school.  

As they neared the campus Teddy felt his heart rate pick up and his hands go clammy.  There were a lot of reasons to feel that way and the largest reason was gathered in a small group of guys right in front of the school as if they’d been waiting for them.  Billy saw them too because his grip spasmed in Teddy’s and Teddy could feel him bristling like an angry cat.

“Well look what we got here!”  Greg sneered loudly, turning to face them fully.  “Our newest pair of fag love-birds.”

There were laughs and jeers that followed from the rest of the group.  Teddy was a cauldron of mixed emotions:  anger, fear, and shame.  Part of him wanted to turn back and never go back into that school; another part wanted to let go of Billy and launch himself at Greg again; a smaller, even more, disgraceful part of him wanted to let go of Billy’s hand and shove his hands in his pockets.  He hated that part of himself.

He tried to think fast.  He tried to think about what kind of person he wanted to be.  His mother had always taught him to act above such things, to be better than such behavior.  His counselor had been telling him to be who “valued” being to be “congruent” with that…whatever that meant.

Somehow that resulted in Teddy forcing a wide grin onto his face and turning it on Greg before saying:  “How’s your jaw?”

Greg scowled furiously and one or two of the other guys actually fought down a snicker at Teddy’s jab.

It felt good but Teddy would’ve been lying if he said it didn’t still feel like his stomach was on the verge of free falling down to his feet; he’d have been lying if he said it didn’t stir up every insecurity that he’d thought he’d buried a years and a half ago.  But he wasn’t going back.  Billy was worth a billion Greg’s he just had to hold onto that fact.

“Why don’t you come over here and say that to my face, fucking homo!”  Greg challenged.

Teddy was tempted to do just that, but with his fist.  Instead, he gripped Billy’s hand tighter and sped up his pace, tugging Billy after him.  He was glad Billy didn’t have to hear the taunts from Greg and his merry band of assholes but he had a feeling that Billy understood anyway.

That added guilt to the mix.  If it wasn’t for Teddy Billy wouldn’t be the target of this kind of shit.  He might still be ignored but he wouldn’t be an active target of slurs, insults, and aggression.

As if sensing his brooding, Billy stroked his thumb along Teddy’s knuckles.  When Teddy turned Billy was smiling at him.

From there things went pretty much as Teddy had expected: he and Billy were school gossip and the subjects of stares and whispers.  Even Ms. Kilven seemed to have heard the rumors but her expression communicated more approval than anything else.  Greg continued his loud, derogatory comments but made no move to approach either of them.  And as Teddy had suspected, everyone he usually talked to gave him a wide berth, like had the damn plague or something.

By the time lunch rolled around Teddy was in desperate need of the break.  Instead of the wall out in the front of the school, he met Billy at his locker.  He didn’t want to chance Greg getting near Billy outside of the school.  

Seeing Billy was like dry land to a drowning man.

He wanted to pull him into his arms and just hold him.  He wanted to kiss him.  But he didn’t feel comfortable with that kind of PDA in the school halls just yet.  It took the majority of his courage to hold Billy’s hand around school, and most of the time he was pretty sure he was holding it so that he didn’t run to the nearest hole and crawl inside.

Instead, he stepped in close and bent his head in low along the side of Billy’s head before taking Billy’s hand in his.  It was enough to give him a brief instant of Billy’s warmth and a hint of his scent.

They left the school via one of the side exits in an attempt to avoid any more encounters with Greg.  It felt a little like hiding but Teddy honestly just didn’t feel like dealing with it.  

They spent lunch at a nearby park that was mercifully free of any of their classmates and they were able to eat their packed lunches in peace.  That also meant that they were able to spend a good portion of the lunch hour making out.  

There in the dappled shade of an old oak Billy had straddled Teddy’s hips while Teddy was propped up against its trunk.  He had kissed Teddy slowly, lazily, and thoroughly, like they were the only two people left in New York City and they had all the time in the world.  He’d plastered himself up against Teddy, one hand on his neck and the other tangled in the hair above Teddy’s ear.  Teddy lavished in it like it was sunshine.

It had left Teddy wondering where Billy had learned to kiss like that; if he had done this before and with who.  But those thoughts were quiet and distant when he could taste the strawberries Billy had eaten with his lunch; when Billy was so warm; when Billy was kissing him like he wanted to slowly eat him alive in the most exquisite death imaginable.

It all resulted in Teddy feeling rejuvenated and ready to face the rest of the day.  It also left him feeling pretty aroused and wondering when and how he and Billy might move things to the next level.

He was a teenage guy, sue him.  

Teddy held Billy’s hand in something close to defiance as they walked through the school halls on their way to their biology class.  People still looked.  People still whispered.  He kept his chin up high and attempted to exude a confidence he wasn’t sure he had.  Fake it till you make it, as it were.  He was not going to be embarrassed or at least he wasn’t going to let anyone think he might be embarrassed.  

They were greeted by Paige gossiping loudly to a group of other students when they walked into their fourth-period classroom.

“I mean, I always thought Teddy might be ‘that way’, you know.”  It wasn’t a question but she still had an upward inflection in her voice at the end.  

Paige always talked like that.  Teddy hated it.  

“I could _totally_ tell by the way he kissed me at Trista’s party this summer.  You can just _tell_ , you know.”

Teddy glared at them as he and Billy made their way to their usual spot.  Paige and Ashley were in the center of the circle of other students.  Teddy swallowed back angry words that were oozing up his throat and crowding onto his tongue.  He tried to remind himself that he and Billy were going to be prime gossip for awhile but eventually, something was going to happen that would replace them as everyone’s favorite subject to prattle on about.  It was high school.  It was only a matter of time.  

At least Teddy hoped so.

Ashely was the first to see them, her eyes flickered down to their joined hands and she immediately looked away.

“I could just _tell_!”  Paige kept insisting, like the worlds most obnoxious broken record.

 _Jesus, you could tell,_ ** _okay_** _!_ Teddy thought as he rolled his eyes and sat in his desk.  Give the girl a fucking prize.  Teddy had been really drunk that night (obviously because he made out with Paige) he had clearly not been on his “A” game, alright.

Ashley pointedly kept her eyes averted from them but she swatted at her friend, shutting her up.  “Jesus, Paige, give it a rest already.”

Paige looked at her in affronted shock.  “C’mon, you’ve been upset about it all day because you were totally into Bil—”

“I said give it a fucking rest!”  Ashley hissed and swept past Paige to take her seat.

Paige watched her go with her mouth hanging open, like a fish, until she caught sight of Billy and Teddy.  She at least had to good manners to look a little embarrassed.

Teddy tapped Billy’s shoulder and his boyfriend turned around in his seat to face him.  His hair had fallen over his eye and Teddy smiled as he reached out and swept it back for him like he had been dying to do for ages.  

 _“You okay?”_   Teddy asked, flicking his eyes over to the group of students who were disbanding now that Paige had finally shut her trap.

 _“Yeah,”_   Billy signed.  _“It’s pretty easy for me to forget they exist.  It’s you I worry about.”_

Teddy gave Billy a half-smile before leaning his head forward and grazing his nose against Billy’s for just an instant before pulling back and signing:  _“I’m good…or at least I’m getting there.”_

Billy’s brows and eyes still communicated concern but he was prevented from asking anything else because his interpreter and Mr. Rivera walked into the classroom forcing Billy to end the conversation and turn to the front to pay attention.

When class ended Billy’s eyes followed Ashley as she strode out of class, her head down and gaze at her feet.  Billy seemed to make some decision standing up and slinging his bag over his head.  He turned to Teddy while he was still in his seat organizing his biology folder.

“I’ll meet you after school.”  He said before turning to rush out of the classroom.

He stopped halfway to the door and turned back around.  Teddy watched him as he rushed back, stooped down and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.  It was so quick that it startled Teddy and before he could do anything Billy was already back on his way out the door.  

Teddy tried not to feel jealous.  He knew Billy was just trying to smooth things over with Ashley, trying to be nice or something, but it cropped up anyway.  Teddy hadn’t realized just how difficult being rational could be until he had come face to face with Billy Kaplan and the barrage of emotions he inspired in Teddy.

He didn’t bring up Ashley when he and Billy met at his locker after school and neither did Billy.

That night when Teddy was feeling like a more mature version of himself he sent a text to Billy.

 **Me:** Hey, how’d it go with Ashley?

Three little dots blinked at the bottom of the screen for what felt like forever before Billy’s response popped up.

 **Billy:** Ok I guess.  I wanted to clear the air.  She was nice to me.  I think she felt like I had been leading her on.

Teddy wanted to ask if that was true but decided he knew Billy better than that.

 **Me:**   Are you guys ok?

 **Billy:**   Dunno, kinda I guess.  I don’t think we’re gonna be friends or anything but she seemed to appreciate me talking to her.

 **Me:** That was brave

 **Billy:** Thanks

Teddy really meant that.  He thought Billy was maybe the strongest, bravest person he had ever met.

 

 **_…They’re just testing us, they can’t flex with us.  They can’t mess with us, they can’t mess with us…_ ** 2

 

Teddy dribbled the basketball slowly, feeling the weight and bounce of it.  He dribbled it slowly at first, finding his rhythm before he gradually began to build up the pace.  Faster and faster he went as he began to move into lunges sending the ball under his legs with each move.  He started to run as he dribbled, going through a few layups before taking several shots at the basket from around the court. 

Teddy was good at basketball; he always had been.  He wasn’t the best player on the team and he didn’t have dreams of going pro but he did think it might be nice to go to college on a basketball scholarship and play for a college team.  Most of all he thought it was fun to play, to be part of a team. 

He lost himself in the flow of it; lost himself in the smell of leather sneakers, the polish they used on the court, and the countless layers of old sweat that always lingered.  He reveled in the beat of the ball reverberating off of the walls of the empty gym.  It was just he and the court.  It felt good having something physical to do.  He was totally entranced.  

It was peaceful.

That was until a basketball slammed into him from across the court causing him to stumble, barely catching himself before he face-planted onto the polished wooden floor.  There was a chorus of snickers and Teddy already knew who was responsible.

“What do you think you’re doing here, fudge-packer?”  Greg demanded from the security of his lackeys.  “This is a homo-free zone.”  

Teddy turned to face them, his fingers already curling into his palm in anticipation of a fight.  If it came to that he knew he’d be screwed.  There was no one around and there were far too many of them.  

Teddy decided to try and go with reason before fists.

“I’m just practicing, Greg.”

Greg furrowed his brows and looked to the guys at either side of him.  “Practicing?  Practicing for what?”

Teddy realized his mistake and didn’t know how to back out once he had gotten himself in.

“Wait,” Greg barked a harsh laugh.  “You don’t think that you’re gonna be on the team this year do you?”

Teddy held his tongue, feeling stupid for walking right into this.  He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t thought about the basketball team and what everything with Billy and Greg would mean for that.

Of course, Greg would try and push him out.  Had he really thought he could just play on the team?

Greg continued to laugh.  “Oh, you did, didn’t you!”

More laughter from the other players.

“Well, that’s not gonna happen.  I mean, this is a homo-free team, and I for one don’t want to risk you sneaking a peek at me in the locker room.”

Teddy felt flush with anger.  “Trust me, Greg, the way girls talk around school it sounds like there wouldn’t be much to see.”

That scored Teddy a few laughs from the other guys and a few “ewww’s”

Greg’s face morphed into a snarl.  “You wanna go again, Altman? Because this time you won’t get to sucker punch me.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Teddy replied.

The tension mounted instantly, the air charging, and Teddy knew he had made a serious mistake.  At this point all Teddy could really hope for was to get a few good punches in on Greg’s stupid face before he was beaten into submission by the gang of them.

Greg began stalking toward him, the other guys a step behind.  Teddy took a deep breath and really hoped someone would hear before things got too out of hand.

“What’s going on here, pendejo’s?”  Someone asked casually.

Teddy looked past Greg and the others and noticed America Chavez, captain and star player of girls basketball team, leaning against the far wall.  She must have walked in behind Greg and his crew at some point during their argument.

Greg turned around and threw his arms up in the air.  “What is this?  Did the rainbow-brigade rent out the gym today or something?”

America straightened.  “You think you’re real funny, Norris.  But you know what?  No one really likes you.”

Greg went rigid in anger and angled his body so he could easily look between Teddy and America.  “Like I care what a dike and a fag think.”

“You’re all talk, puto.”  America dismissed as she started to walk towards him.  “You talk real big when you’re surrounded by your squad of idiotas but everyone in the school knows Teddy kicked your ass.”

“Fuck you, America.”  Greg spat.  “What kind of name is that anyway?  It’s not gonna save you from being deported back to where you belong.”

America was still walking toward Greg, her steps sure and even, her expression a strange mix between board and threatening.  “Oh, a jab at my ethnicity and name.”  She rolled her eyes dramatically.  “I’ve never heard _that_ one before.”

She marched right up to Greg and jabbed a finger into the center of his chest.  “Get lost, cabron.”

“You gonna make me?”  Greg scoffed.

“I don’t mind helping out.”  Teddy jumped in.

He was honestly pretty sure America wouldn’t need his help with Greg but he thought he’d make it known who’s side he was on and that he’d do his damnedest to keep Greg’s goons off of her if she decided to teach him a lesson.

Greg glanced back and forth between the two of them before snorting and throwing up his hands.  “What the fuck ever.  It’s feeling way too fruity in here anyway.  Let’s go guys.”

And with that Greg and his friends marched out of the gym.

“I hate that guy,” America muttered, her chocolate-brown eyes narrowed into slits as they followed them.

“Yeah, me too,”  Teddy replied.

America gave him a sideways look with a single raised eyebrow.

“Let’s just say I wasn’t myself the last year and a half,”  Teddy answered the unverbalized question.

The corner of America’s mouth twitched upward and her eyes were surprisingly warm.  “Glad you wised up, chico.”

“Thanks…and thanks for stepping in.”

“I’d take just about any excuse to knock that guy’s teeth out,” America replied.  “You gonna stay on the team?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Teddy replied.  “I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Greg’s got all those guys under his thumb,” America noted.  “They’ll make your life hell.”

“Yeah,” Teddy sighed.  “I really just don’t know if it’d be worth it.”

“You know,” America intoned.  “There are other ways to play ball…if it’s the game you really care about.”

Teddy frowned in confusion.

“I’m starting a league.  It’s a little more street ball but it’s coed and for people who just want to play.  I’ve seen you.  You got skill.”

“Really?”

“Don’t sound so surprised, chico.”  America laughed.

Teddy grinned.  “Yeah, yeah I’d be down for that.”

“Salvaje,” America said, extending her closed fist for him to bump.

Teddy met her fist and his grin spread wider.

 

 **_…I’m honest, brutal and afraid of you…_ ** 3

 

It was hard to concentrate on homework, what with he and Billy laid out on the same bed and all.  Teddy’s mind was too busy imagining other things they could be doing on said bed.  Only the fact that Mrs. Kaplan was somewhere bustling about the apartment, liable to walk in at any inopportune moment, kept Teddy from attempting any of those tempting fantasies.  

Billy hadn’t wanted to tell his parents about them yet, or about his sexual orientation.  Although, something about the way Mrs. Kaplan greeted Teddy whenever he came over made him feel like she might already have an inkling of exactly what was going on here.

Teddy’s brain wasn’t just distracted with fantasy, it was also filled with memories of the other day, of his encounter with Greg and the rest of the team out on the court; his decision to join up with America and her league.  He’d been waiting to tell Billy once he had finally sorted it all out in his head.

“Hey,” Teddy wagged his hand between Billy’s face and the biology book he was reading.

Billy glanced up, his face questioning.  Teddy smiled and couldn’t resist leaning in to kiss him because he could do that sort of thing now and he could not seem to get enough.  He felt Billy smiled against his lips.

When they parted he took a deep breath and said:  “I think I’m going to quit the basketball team.”

Billy smile withered into an expression of shock, bordering on horror.  

Teddy wasn’t sure if Billy had read his lips right so shifted to sit up and signed:  “ _I decided to quit the basketball team.”_

 _“I understood…”_ Billy replied.

“Oh…”

“Why?”  Billy signed and spoke.

Teddy felt like he was doing something wrong but wasn’t sure what it was.

“Because I don’t want to be on a team that Greg is on.  Because I don’t want to be a part of a team of people who just follow Greg’s lead so blindly.”

Billy nodded but his expression was oddly blank.

“What?”  Teddy asked, dread seeping into his bones.

“You love basketball,” Billy muttered, his fingers moving in half-hearted motions.

“Yeah, I do, but it’s not worth—”

“—This is what I was afraid of.”  Billy cut him off.

“What?”

“Being with me…it’s going to cost you.”  Billy’s tone had a hollowness to it that was seriously starting to freak Teddy out.  “You shouldn’t have to give up things you love.  I knew this was a bad idea.  I’ve just been being selfish.  I can’t believe I thought that this could really work…”  Billy’s words continued to pour out of him like blood from a freshly opened wound.

Teddy could feel his the hammering beat of his heart in his ears.  

How had this simple conversation gone so wrong?  

“What are you saying?”  Teddy demanded, as his panic began to rise.

“I’m saying that I don’t think you get it,” Billy replied his eyes downcast and shoulders hunched.  “I’m saying that I don’t want you to regret this.”

Teddy shook his head frantically.  “Billy, I—”

“—You’re friends already hate you.”  Billy continued as if he hadn’t seen Teddy’s words.  “You’re quitting the basketball team.  And that is just the beginning.  Do you even get how much judgment we’re gonna get?  I’ll get judgment from the deaf community.  You’ll get judgment from the hearing community.  On top of _that,_ we’re both _dudes_!  That’s a lot, Teddy…” Billy slumped impossibly further.  “I don’t want to do that to you.”

“I don’t care about any of that.”

“You say that now, but trust me—”

“—No, _you_ trust _me_ ,” Teddy growled, his hands signing fiercely.  He reached out, putting his hands on Billy’s neck and pushing his jaw up with his thumbs so their eyes met.  “I love you.”  He whispered.  

He felt Billy stop breathing.  He pulled Billy’s head toward him and pressed a slow kiss to one side of his forehead, before repeating the declaration into the skin there.  Then he slid his lips over to the other side of Billy’s forehead and pressed the words into the skin there.  

He knew Billy couldn’t hear him and he didn’t actually think he could tell what he was saying by the feel of his lips on his skin, but he knew he understood by the serration in Billy’s breathing, by the tremor that rippled through his body.  

His lips traveled back down Billy’s face and he kissed his cheek, right below the eye, right where the bruise had mostly faded into pale shades of yellow and indigo.  And then Billy tipped his face up and they were kissing slow but sharp and desperate, their faces pressing hard into one another.  

When Billy pulled apart from him his eyes were wet and he tried to speak but only a garbled sound emerged.  He swallowed and signed:  _“Me too.  Me too.  Me too…”_ over and over again until Teddy grabbed for him and pulled him in again.  Their foreheads and noses bumped and pressed together for an instant before Teddy gripped Billy against him pressing his nose and mouth into his shoulder.  His neck was moist where Billy’s face was smashing into it.  Teddy’s rubbed his hands up and down Billy’s back in slow and steady strokes.  Billy’s fingers clenched and unclenched at Teddy’s back.

As far as love confessions went:  Teddy was fairly certain this wasn’t making any “best of lists”.  He thought cared about when, where, and how he said it but he actually didn’t.  

He honestly wouldn’t have been able to verbalize it a few minutes ago.  In the midst of everything that had happened over the past few months, Teddy had never stopped and examined the intensity of what he felt for Billy, the sureness of it.  He had literally given up the very things he thought he’d wanted all his adolescent life the instant those things threatened Billy.  He seriously wasn’t sure how he hadn’t recognized it for what it was right away.  Perhaps love was sneakier than people gave it credit for.

It wasn’t until he’d seen Billy so affected by what their relationship meant for him, saw that he was ready to walk away from it to spare him, that he was able to put words to it all.  Even still, those three words felt oddly inadequate for what he felt for this boy.

After a long while, Billy seemed to settle and he pulled back.  He rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands and then ran his fingers through his hair, leaving it sticking up at odd angles.

“ _I love you.”_   He signed, wrists crossed and hugged to his chest.  “But…everything I said is still true.”

Teddy’s smile was soft and he reached out with his left hand to trace one of the lines of Billy’s neck down to his collarbone.  “ _I know._ I don’t care. _”_

He moved the hand at Billy’s collarbone up and around his head, curling it behind his head and tugged their heads together again.  He rubbed the side of his face against Billy’s, tender and intimate.  Billy’s hands were gliding up his Teddy’s chest.  Teddy had chosen Billy and he needed him to understand that.  Because when it came down to it Teddy really believed that as long as they had each other they could figure everything else out.

It was maybe a bit naive but he believed it with every single cell in his body.

They moved to lie on the bed, homework forgotten, Teddy on his back and Billy on his belly with one cheek smooshed to Teddy’s shoulder.  They just stared at each other, every so often one of them would lean in for a kiss, to nuzzle, to press mouth to skin.  Teddy’s fingers combed through Billy’s hair absently; one of Billy’s hands toyed with the collar of Teddy’s t-shirt.

Nothing else was said but Teddy knew they understood each other.  Nothing more was needed.

 

\---

1 Black Magic by Ruston Kelly

2 One Foot by Walk the Moon

3 There’s Too Much Love by Belle and Sebastian

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, well this was originally supposed to be the end but your comments have inspired me to write more. As such, there will be a few more chapters. They will generally be of the fluffy variety so I hope you all don't mind.
> 
> Thanks again! And I hope you guys continue to follow and leave comments.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you all for your amazingly kind and supportive comments and leaving kudos. It truly means the world.
> 
> WARNING for underage drug use. If you've got issues with be warned, takes place about halfway through this chapter.

**_…Oh this I swear I promise to myself I’ll never let you go give you my heart and soul…_ ** 1

Teddy felt like he was boiling over like there was something fizzling inside of his veins; it was as if someone had switched out his blood with freshly popped champagne.  He felt like there was too much energy trapped inside of his body and it had nowhere to go so it was looping around inside of him in a chaotic circuit.  

He could feel Billy’s eyes on him, he could feel the questions beginning to flick to life on the tips of the other boy’s fingertips.

He turned before those questions could be asked.  He let go of Billy’s hand so that he could sign more comfortably.  He stopped mid-stride causing Billy to jerk to a halt and swivel suddenly to face him.

“My mom is going to be out of town for a convention in Road Island.”  Teddy blurted out so quickly the individual words jumbled together, like a multi-car pileup on the freeway.  Luckily, his fingers still didn’t move as quickly as his mouth so he knew Billy could at least follow his signing.  Teddy swallowed before he continued but it did little to slow his verbal pace.  “She’s gonna be gone until sometime Sunday morning.”

And oh sweet god did he really just say all that?!  Did he just word vomit that entire string of words without giving Billy _any_ context?  What the fuck was wrong with him?! 

Billy blinked at him for a long time and Teddy could not seem to get his mouth and brain to reestablish any sort of meaningful connection because he remained silent as well.

Finally, after what felt like an unbearable eternity, Billy spoke and signed.  “Okay…” His voice was tight and his hands moved slowly.  “I umm…can ask to…uh…stay the night then—maybe?”

Teddy gulped and nodded.  “Yeah…that’s what I was—I mean, please?”

Man, he sucked at this.  He could never seem to manage to be smooth around Billy.  He had exactly _negative_ chill around this boy; it was a problem—a very serious problem.  Fortunately for him, Billy seemed to be alright with it.

“Yeah…” Billy’s words were barely audible, his hands and fingers similarly flustered.  “Yeah…I—that sounds fun—not fun—I mean fun, yeah, but also—”

Teddy burst into a sudden flare of laughter.  All at once his own flusteredness didn’t matter because maybe Billy Kaplan didn’t have any chill around _him_.  Maybe that was why they worked.

Billy blushed but smiled up at him before running his hands through his bangs and moving them out his eyes.  He looked up at Teddy from under his lashes before he spoke again.  “So, before we talk this into something even more awkward, how about that frozen s’more?”

Teddy smirked as he slid in close, brushing his nose under Billy’s before sliding up alongside it and nodding as he leaned in to give him a lingering kiss.  He brought a hand up and signed:  _“Ok,”_ as he pulled away.  

**_…Will you stay with me tonight?  You could be my cure…_ ** 2

Teddy looked down at his phone noting the time.  Billy was going to be here in about an hour and it still felt like he had a million things to do.  And his mother _still_ hadn’t left.  It was taking everything he had not to try and hurry her out the door and to just act normal.

It was seriously a big deal that his mother was leaving him alone for an entire weekend.  Six months ago this would _not_ have been an option.  If he seemed even a little odd it would be enough to get his mother to hire Old Miss Flores to stay with him or something.  So he breathed, clenched and unclenched his fists, and watched his mother run through her final check of her luggage before she finally zipped it up.

“Money’s on the counter for food.”  His mother was saying, as she wheeled her suitcase toward the door.  “You sure you’ll be alright?”

He could tell she was feeling nervous about leaving him alone.  Teddy was nervous too, but for a completely different reason.

“Mom, I’m good,”  Teddy assured.  “I got this.”

His mother smiled and propped up her suitcase before walking over and planting a kiss on his cheek.  “My young man…growing up so fast.”

Teddy shrugged both of his shoulders up high around his ears.  “That’s me…”

She opened the door and began wheeling out.  “Remember _no_ parties.”

“No parties,”  Teddy swore, holding up his hand palm outward.

“No girls.”  His mother added, eyes narrowed.

Teddy swallowed.  “No problem.”

The utter irony of that exchange almost made him want to crawl under the couch cushions. 

“But if you want to have a friend over you can invite that Billy Kaplan over.”  She noted before closing the door.  “He seems like a nice young man, a good influence.”

Teddy kind of wanted to die on the spot.  

“Okay,” he essentially squeaked.

“Bye, I love you!”  She began to close the door.

“Love you too,”  Teddy replied before burying his head in his hands and squealing.

Teddy felt like he was supposed to burst into action.  He was supposed to flow into some kind of montage of moments as he cleaned the apartment, set up candles, and sprinkled rose petals on the bed and into the bathtub.  Except he mostly just paced and only managed to pick up the dirty clothes that littered his room.  

How was he supposed to prepare for something like this?

Should he turn down the lights?  Should he greet Billy at the door in nothing but his best pair of underwear?  Should he play some smooth jazz or R&B?  Should there be dinner waiting or maybe chocolates?  Should there be wine? 

Teddy spent so long losing his mind about it that the time passed in an unproductive blur that was only interrupted by the doorbell ringing.  It startled him and he felt like his bones were going to jitter right out of his body with the nerves.

He opened the door and Billy was standing there looking so stupid-handsome in a backwards cap and the hood of the hoodie he wore under a jacket pulled up over it.  

There was an overnight bag slung over one of his shoulders.  

Teddy’s mouth went dry.

Their eyes met and Billy looked every bit as nervous as Teddy felt and that is what changed things.  The nerves didn’t vanish in the face of his love and certainty.  It was all there, still buzzing around him, like a cloud of frenzied gnats.  It was just that he felt like he could see through it all now, he could see right through it all to Billy.

Teddy reached out and yanked Billy in by the collar of his t-shirt.  His boyfriend came willingly and their mouths crashed together forcefully.  Teddy kicked the door closed behind Billy and then pushed him up against it.  The bag that Billy was carrying dropped to the ground with a heavy thud.  Billy’s hat tipped off as the bill pressed against the door.  Billy was pushing off Teddy’s flannel.  Teddy’s fingers slid Billy’s hood back and flicked away the hat, eager to get threaded in his hair.

Their tongues grappled wetly and their hips canted together.    

Teddy pulled Billy, guiding him toward his bedroom because he was going to at least make sure they did this on a bed.  Cloths and shoes littered a trail through the apartment as they went and by the time they got to Teddy’s room and fell back onto the bed there was nothing between them.

Teddy kissed his way down Billy’s neck, over the jut of his collarbone, down the muscles of his chest, all the way down the lean lines of Billy’s stomach.  Billy gasped and squirmed beneath him, back arching up off of the bed, hands clawing at the comforter.

Billy grabbed at Teddy, summoning him back up so that they could kiss again.  They rutted against each other.  Their hands laced together tightly and pressed into the pillows.  It was frantic; it was intense; it was inelegant; it was perfect.  

**_…Sunlight comes creeping in illuminating our skin, we watch the day go by…_ ** 3

Teddy let out a sigh and stretched a long luxurious stretch, every muscle pulling tight in a sweet tension.  He reached out blindly, hand searching for the warm, pliant body he had been tangled up with all night.  Instead, his hand found only empty space and he opened his eyes to see that he was alone in his room.  He sat up startled, feeling suddenly awake and anxious.  For an instant he wondered if he had dreamed it all up in some horny, hormonal delusion; except he could still smell Billy’s musky-sweet scent on the pillow next to him and he could swear that it was still warm.  Then he heard something bang in the kitchen and he quickly pulled on a pair of sweatpants and padded out into the apartment.

He emerged to see Billy working over the stove with an orange spatula in hand.  Teddy could smell the faint aroma of bacon starting to cook and smiled in realization.

He walked up behind Billy and coiled his arms around his waist and peppered his neck with a series of quick kisses.  Billy startled for an instant but leaned his head back against Teddy’s shoulder.  He was wearing Teddy’s t-shirt and it was giving him all kinds of butterflies to see him in it, the smell the mix of them both on him.  It left Teddy feeling possessive and passionate.

“I was trying to make you breakfast in bed,”  Billy explained as he flipped a pancake in one of the three skillets he had going.  “It’s a little tough to gauge exactly how loud you are when you can’t hear.”

Teddy chuckled as he dug his teeth into the curve of Billy’s neck and sucked for an instant before then soothing over it with a soft kiss.  Billy put the spatula down and turned around in Teddy’s arms to bring their lips together.  He ran his hands up Teddy’s stomach and up over his chest.  

“Maybe put on a t-shirt or I’m gonna burn breakfast,”  Billy mumbled between their mouths.

Teddy nipped at Billy’s nose before pulling back to make sure Billy could read his lips.  “I’m willing to sacrifice.”  He glanced over Billy’s shoulder and looked at the bacon frying in the pan.  “Well…”

Billy pushed him away with a laugh.

Teddy waggled his eyebrows and Billy smirked at him as he backed away toward the bedroom in order to find something to wear.  

When he returned to the kitchen with a t-shirt on Billy turned and held out the spatula giving him a taste of the scramble he was making.

“Oh, that’s good, Kaplan.”  Teddy hummed around the bite.  “What’s in it?”

“Family secret,”  Billy replied coyly.

Teddy smiled and was unable to resist reaching out and stroking along Billy’s lower back as he went to make coffee.

“ _My boy can cook.”_   He signed with a wink.

Billy on shook his head fondly in response before turning back to cooking.

Teddy ground up some coffee beans and then dumped the grounds into the French press and put the kettle on the stove on the last remaining burner.  Billy watched him from the corner of his eye as he monitored his own work.

“You’re making coffee in _that_?”  Billy asked without signing, indicating the French press with a tilt of his head.

Teddy snorted as he began to stream the boiled water into the glass carafe.  “It’s the _only_ way to make coffee,”  Teddy replied but realized he hadn’t turned to face Billy and the words might not have been clear so he repeated it in ASL when he set the kettle back down.

Billy arched an eyebrow at him, his face skeptical.  “What’s wrong with a regular coffee pot?”

Teddy clutched his hands over his heart.  “I cannot believe what I am hearing!  This might be a deal breaker.”

Billy rolled his eyes at him and Teddy swooped over, arms looping around his waist from behind once more his lips barraging Billy everywhere he could reach.  He could never seem to keep his hands off of Billy but since last night it felt even worse, more powerful, more insistent.  

They managed to complete breakfast without burning anything down and sat at the table to eat.  Billy had a long drink of coffee and sighed appreciatively into his Yoda-mug.  

Teddy lifted his brows with a smirk.  “Huh?  Huh?”

“It’s really good,”  Billy said.

Teddy took a bite of his breakfast and nodded.  “Food’s really good too.”

“I make breakfast.  You make coffee.”  Billy said.  “I think this might work out.”

Teddy smiled.  “Yeah, me too.”

They ate in silence for a moment, sneaking glances over forks and mugs. 

“How long can you stay?”  Teddy finally asked, trying to stay casual as he began to pour honey over his stack of pancakes.  In reality, he was already dreading Billy leaving.

“All weekend,”  Billy replied, easy as anything.

Teddy raised a surprised eyebrow.

“I told my mom I was going to my friend Nate’s from my old school,”  Billy explained.  “She still feels bad for making me change schools so she said I could spend the whole weekend if I wanted.”

Teddy reached across the table and rubbed his thumb along Billy’s eyebrow.  

Billy smiled a soft, wistful smile.  “Or maybe I could just stay here with you forever.”

Teddy turned his hand to rake the backs of his fingers along the side of Billy’s face.  “Yeah…”

They spent the day not doing much of anything.  They managed to clean up the kitchen and then found themselves back on Teddy’s bed where they lounged, had more sex, and generally just lost themselves in one another.

It was late in the evening and Teddy was dozing, Billy’s nose was pressed right above his armpit.  Teddy was just getting ready to drop off to sleep when Billy rolled away and off of the bed and shuffled to his duffle bag.  Teddy rubbed at his eyes as he leaned onto his side.  

“What are you doing?”  Teddy’s voice was gruff and gravely.  

Billy’s back was to him and he didn’t hear him so it forced Teddy to wait until he’d turned around again.  

“What are you doing?”  Teddy repeated.

“I brought something.”  Billy’s eyes were wicked as he held out a clear sandwich baggie with clusters of crumbly green herbs inside.

Teddy’s eyes bulged and he sat upright.  “No way!”

“What?”  Billy laughed.  “You think a Deaf kid can’t smoke?”

“N—no,” Teddy stammered.

Billy just kept laughing as he hopped back onto the bed.

A few minutes and a rolled joint later and they were leaned up against the headboard of Teddy’s bed giggling in uncontrollable fits over god knows what and swaying into one another.  Billy blew a stream of smoke into Teddy’s ear causing him to cringe away grunting with laughter.  Billy followed but almost dropped the joint and had to jerk upright once again.

The munchies hit them hard so they ordered three large pizza’s and finally ventured out of the bedroom to eat and maybe watch _Star Wars_.

“Did you know,” Billy said around a mouth full of pizza.  “There are infinite realities?”

Teddy started laughing again and nearly choked on a piece of pepperoni.  

“It’ true.”  Billy insisted fighting off his own giggles.  “It’s science.  Parallel worlds where things are totally different or maybe just different because of one tiny detail.”  

“You’re baked.”  Teddy teased as he took a bite of his crust.

Billy shook his head, hair flopping in front of his eyes.  “Nope, it’s true.  And in every reality, there is a Billy and there is a Teddy.”

“Yeah?”

Billy nodded.  “And they’ve all met and fallen in love.”

Teddy smiled.  “You think so?”

“I know so.  Every single one of them.”

“In every reality.”  Teddy agreed, feeling lightheaded, unsure if it was still the pot or the overwhelming love he felt for this boy.

Teddy knew that everyone said that first loves were intense and that when you were young and feeling something for the first time it seemed totally unique and special.  But Teddy just couldn’t help but believe that this was different, that this was something more.  If that made him a dumb kid he couldn’t be bothered to care.

“Listen, I…I want to give you something,”  Billy said, his energy changing so completely and so suddenly it left Teddy feeling like he’d just tripped on an uneven piece of sidewalk.

Teddy frowned.

“It’s uh…it’d be your sign name…”

Teddy felt a rush as his skin flash-heated and his heart began to thud.

“You don’t have to take it…I mean if we ever broke up or something you’d probably hate it—”

“—Never.”  Teddy cut in.  “I would never hate it.  Even if we did break up—which, for the record, is _never_ gonna happen—I would never hate it.  I love you and it…it would always be special.”

Billy smiled, soft and sweet as he ducked his head.  He lifted his right hand before shifting it to form the sign for the letter “T” and moved into the sign name.

Teddy beamed.  “It’s perfect.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

**_…You begin to feel like him…_ ** 4

It was a testament to just how lost Teddy was in Billy because he completely forgot his mother was even coming home which resulted in a seriously mortifying moment.  The door to the apartment opened and Teddy had frozen in something akin to terror and Billy didn’t hear it.  Fortunately, everyone had their clothes on and no one was straddling anyone else's hips or locking lips.  But everything about the way Billy and Teddy were seated on the couch was screaming “more than friends”.  They were side-by-side, Teddy’s arm resting along the back of the couch behind Billy and Billy’s right ankle wrapped around Teddy’s left.  

Teddy’s mother gaped at them, her eyes wide and her mouth open as though she had been about to say something.  Billy caught sight of her and felt Teddy’s tension and went rigid along Teddy’s side.

“Mom!”  Teddy all but shouted as he awkwardly untangled himself from Billy and got to his feet.

“You didn’t answer any of my calls or texts.”  His mother stated numbly.

Teddy cringed knowing he had probably worried her having all but forgotten his phone in his room for the entirety of that weekend.

“Sorry.”

Her eyes glanced over to Billy on the couch.

Teddy took a deep breath.  Apparently, nothing was going to go as planned when it came to his relationship with Billy.  This was not how he wanted to do this but the gig was most definitely up.

“Uh, Mom…you know Billy…” he gestured to the boy who remained motionless on the couch.

Billy seemed to put together some of what was being said and began combing some of his disheveled hair back with his fingers in an attempt to tame the bedraggled locks.  He stood up and took a couple of timid steps to Teddy’s side.

“He’s…my boyfriend,”  Teddy said softly.

His mother’s eyes went wider.  “Does this mean you’re gay?”  She blurted.

Teddy laughed lightly, at least he knew he came by his awkward moments of word vomit naturally.

“No…” Teddy hedged.  He wasn’t actually 100% sure where he was on the sexuality spectrum at this point.  “It just means I’m not straight.”

“Okay…”  His mother replied.

Billy took his cue and gave a half-hearted wave.  “Afternoon, Mrs. Altman, nice to see you again.”

Teddy’s mother looked at Billy for a long moment saying nothing and then just stepped forward and pulled Billy into a hug.  She closed her eyes and even brought a hand to the back of Billy’s head.

Billy gave Teddy a terrified and confused look from over her shoulder.

Teddy felt a little misty and signed:  _“I think this means she approves.”_

After a few seconds, Teddy’s mother released a blushing Billy and stepped back.  “Can you stay for dinner, Billy?”

Billy still looked a bit like a frightened rabbit but nodded.  “Yeah, sure.  Let me just text my mom.”  And then he turned and fled back to the bedroom get his phone.

His mother turned to face him and thankfully she was smiling.  “I always had a good feeling about him.”

“Yeah?”  Teddy’s voice shook a bit.

She nodded.  

“And that fact that he’s a guy?”  Teddy hedged.

“Oh, Teddy, that doesn’t matter to me.”  She cupped his cheek.  “The most any parent can wish for their child is that they find someone who loves them, respects them, and puts them first and what gender that ends up being doesn’t matter.”

Teddy blinked back the moisture in his eyes and hugged his mother.  “Thanks, Mom.”

“We’re still going to have a _loooong_ talk about your interpretation of my advice about inviting Billy over.”

Teddy pulled away with a sour look on his face.  “Oh, that’s going to be awkward isn’t it.”

“Unbelievably,” his mother replied, patting his shoulder on her way to wheel her suitcase to her room.

\----

1 Cure by Barcelona

2 Cure by Barcelona

3 Wings Ones by Birdy

4 Look After You by the Fray

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to the intimacy and importance of sign names in Deaf culture and me not directly belonging to the community, I elected not to create a sign name for Teddy or depict it in this story outside of referencing Billy giving him one. You’ll all just have to imagine what it is ;D


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holiday's everyone, no matter how you celebrate!
> 
> I had this inspiration after some comments I received early on in this fic and then wrote the bulk of it right after Thanksgiving. Hope you all enjoy it! 
> 
> Your comments and support are like warm sunshine in the winter and it manages to reach the inky, black depths of my heart!
> 
> I'll be traveling for the New Year so posting might be a bit slower (by like a week or two) but I still got about three more chapters to post for this fic so stay tuned.
> 
> Here's to 2018!

**_…On and On we go, my brother…_ ** 1

“What’s the sign for Thanksgiving again?”  Teddy’s mother asked.

Teddy held his thumb, middle, and forefinger out in front of his nose in the shape of an “L” and then dragged it down over the right side of his chest where he brought the three digits together quickly, a little like a beak opening and closing.

She pressed her lips together, shifting the pecan pie to her left hand to mimic the sign.  Teddy nodded and smiled in approval.  Teddy thought she must realize just how serious things were between him and Billy since she was making a big effort to learn American Sign Language.  They _were_ spending their Thanksgiving with the Kaplan’s after all.  That probably said something.

Teddy knocked on the door and one of the young Kaplan twins answered.  “Hey, Tee!”

“Hey, pal.”  Teddy greeted the kid with a smile and a ruffle of his hair.

“Mom!  Teddy’s here!”  The kid yelled into the apartment before opening the door wider and allowing them inside.

“Theodore,” Mrs. Kaplan greeted him with a warm hug.  “Happy Thanksgiving.”

“You too, thanks for having us again.”  He stepped aside to allow his mother in.  “This is my mother.”

“Lovely to finally meet you.”  Teddy’s mother greeted.

“Yes, it looks like we’re going to be family.”

“Indeed,” Teddy’s mother replied and the two women chuckled together.

Teddy felt like someone punched him in the gut and his face went a fiery shade of crimson.

“Oh, god,” Billy breathed coming up beside him and greeting Teddy with a casual arm around the waist and a kiss on the cheek.  “What’d she say?”

“ _They’re planning out our wedding.”_   Teddy signed, taking a bit of satisfaction in the way Billy gulped heavily.

Mrs. Kaplan took the pie from Teddy’s mother and was walking it off to the kitchen.  Teddy’s mother turned to greet Billy.

“ _Happy Thanksgiving,”_ she signed with a smile.  

“ _You too,”_ Billy replied and stepped into her waiting arms.

She brought a hand to his cheek and gave him a light pat before saying:  “I’m going to go see if I can help with anything.”

Maternal acts of embarrassment aside, coming out to their parents had been a good thing for them, freeing them from the final remaining shackles of fear that had wound around their relationship.  Unlike Teddy’s mother, the reveal to the Kaplan’s had been rather anticlimactic as Mrs. Kaplan had proclaimed to know already and to have told Mr. Kaplan.  Billy had a bit mortified.

Billy turned to him and his smile was wicked.  “ _I’ve got a surprise for you.”_

Teddy frowned.  “ _Why do I get the feeling I should be worried?”_

“This him?” A voice demanded from behind them.

Teddy turned to see a boy their age with platinum-blond hair walking toward them.  He was a little taller than Billy, whipcord thin, and a few scattered tattoos upon his pale skin.  Despite the differences, the resemblance was still there: his face held some of the features that Billy’s did, in the slope of his jaw, the shape of his ears, and the curve of his eyes, but much of the similarities ended there.

“ _Is that…?”_ Teddy’s fingers asked.  “ _Your brother?”_

 _“Well, isn’t he astute.  At least he knows how to sign halfway decent.”_   Tommy replied with a roll of the eyes.

Billy laughed.  “Tommy got released early.  For good behavior, if you can believe it.”

Tommy frowned.  “I had to.  Someone was off getting black eyes while I wasn’t around to take care of him.”

“ _I can take care of myself.”_   Billy signed.

“ _Sure…”_ Tommy dragged out the sign, his expression moving into vivid disbelief.

“Uh…hi,” Teddy finally found his voice.  “I’m Teddy, by the way.”  He extended his hand.

“I know who you are.”  Tommy rolled his eyes again and accepted the offered hand in a firm shake.  “Billy only waxes poetic about you nonstop these days.”

“Hey!”  Billy kicked out at Tommy’s shin.

“It’s true.”  Tommy retorted, kicking back.

“You telling stories about me, Kaplan?”  Teddy asked with an exaggerated bat of his eyelashes.

“Well…I’m just…”

Tommy groaned and threw his head back.  “Do _not_ start that!  Have the decency to let me eat so I at least have something to throw up when you two start acting all romantic and goggly.”

Billy smirked and reached out and pulled the front of Teddy’s shirt and hauled him in for a kiss.  

“Seriously!”  Tommy insisted with an exaggerated wave of his arms.  “My capacity for mushy shit is at critical mass!  This place is a den of love and affection.  I’ve been _inside_ for almost six months!”

“You were in juvie, not a federal penitentiary,”  Billy replied dryly.

Teddy made a mental note of the sign for penitentiary.

“I’m a hardened criminal.”  Tommy insisted.

“I saw you laying on the couch this morning while Mom scratched your head.”  Billy shot back.

Tommy shot a horrified look at Teddy before turning his scowl on Billy.  “ _You’re a filthy liar._ ”

“ _Whatever, Mister Criminal,”_   Billy replied.

As Teddy watched the two brothers bicker something warm and delightful washed over him, it was like unexpected sunshine in the middle of a New York winter.  It burbled up and Teddy began to laugh.

The twins ceased their back and forth exchange and looked over at him as if he had lost his mind.  After a moment Billy started laughing too and Tommy just looked between the two of them, his expression furrowed in something akin to both disappointment and disgust.

“This is what the system released me to?”  He grumbled and signed as he shook his head.

A short while later they sat around a dining room table that was piled high with a roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, dinner rolls, macaroni and cheese, corn on the cob, and green beans.  It was a veritable feast and more food than Teddy was used to seeing on Thanksgiving; it was usually just he and his mother so there was no cause to cook an entire turkey with all the fixings.  

The four Kaplan boys continued to squabble amongst themselves with a few flicks, wet willies, and kicks for good measure.  The adults ignored the entire exchange as though they were at an entirely different dining experience as they sipped wine and talked about grownup things.

This, Teddy realized, is what it must feel like to have a family.  It had been just he and his mother for so long and he always wondered what it would be like.  So much had changed in the last year.  It was a little dizzying to think back on his time as that invisible kid at school from where he was now.

“Hey,” Billy’s hand was on his thigh.  “You okay?”

Teddy smiled at Billy, the boy who had turned his world upside down and made it so much better.

“Yeah,”

Billy nodded and they stared at each other like they had been at the start of it all.  It still left Teddy feeling like there wasn’t enough air to breathe but now he knew what it was, he knew that Billy felt it too and that it was something good.

A chunk of dinner roll collided with the side of Billy’s face.  “I said cut the mush!”  Tommy ordered.

Billy was already reaching for something on his plate to retaliate when Mrs. Kaplan tapped the butt of her fork on the table.

“Thomas, I realize that you appropriated some alternative cultural norms while you were away but that is not how we behave at the dinner table in this house.”

And to Teddy’s surprise, Tommy actually looked ashamed and ducked his head.  “Sorry, Mom.”  He muttered.

Billy began to snicker only to get a kick from under the table from Tommy.

As the evening wore down after a few rather spirited rounds of _Pictionary_ everyone had settled into a seat in the Kaplan’s living room and talked in small groups or played on phones or tablets.  Billy and Teddy had taken up a spot on the floor.  Billy was dozing after their second round of Thanksgiving food, his head in Teddy’s lap as Teddy rubbed his fingers in small circles at his temples.

Tommy came up suddenly and sat by him.  “So, this Greg guy, he a problem?”

Teddy was so taken aback by the sudden change in Tommy and the bluntness of the question that he ceased rubbing Billy’s head and earned himself a grumpy murmur of protest from his boyfriend.  Teddy looked away from Tommy and focused his attention back on Billy for a moment as he resumed the slow circles he had been messaging.

Tommy was more patient than Teddy has seen him that entire night and just waited. 

Teddy took in a steadying breath before he replied, eyes still on Billy’s face.  “No—I mean, he’s still an asshole, but he’s mostly left us alone.  He yells some bigoted shit here and there but that’s been it.”

“Billy’s says you socked him after you found out he and his posse jumped him.”

Teddy only nodded.

Tommy nodded back.  “Good.  He bothers either of you again and you just let me know.”

Teddy blinked at him a moment.

Tommy glanced down to assure Billy’s eyes were still closed.  “Don’t tell Billy I told you that.  I promised him I’d stay away from that kind of thing since I’m on probation for the next six months.”

Teddy didn’t know what to say and just kept staring.  He felt like he should probably discourage Tommy from doing anything but the other boy spoke before he got his wits back.

“Don’t freak out.  I won’t do anything personally, I just know some guys.  Don’t worry your pretty-jock-head about it.”  He jerked his nose down to indicate his snoozing twin.  “You just keep making him happy.”

“Okay…” Teddy finally managed.  “I think I can do that.”

Tommy’s eyes narrowed dangerously and Teddy leaned back from him a bit.  

“But if you _ever_ hurt him, I will destroy you.”

Again Teddy was at a loss for words.

Tommy stood abruptly and patted him hard on the shoulder.  “Nice meeting you, Teddy-Boy.  I’m off to bed.  See you around.”

Teddy watched Tommy as he circulated through the room, hugging his parents, and shaking Teddy’s mother’s hand before saying “goodnight” and disappearing into the room he was now sharing with Billy.  

Teddy looked back down at Billy for a moment and watched him as he slept.

Teddy’s mother walked up and touched his shoulder.  “Time to head home, sweetie.”

Teddy nodded and she moved to get her coat and purse.

He leaned forward and planted a kiss on Billy’s forehead.  Billy opened his eyes and smiled at him.  

Teddy knew that this is where he would be for as long as Billy Kaplan would have him.

 ---

1 Brother by Mighty Oaks


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys! Almost 100 kudos! I am so honored and happy and touched and and and! Thank you! I really was not sure if anyone was going to actually read this. Billy/Teddy is a bit of a quiet fandom. Thank you all so much I truly adore all of your comments and enjoy chatting with you. We are close to the finish here we've got three left and I'm thinking I'm gonna hold pretty firm to that but who knows.
> 
> Much love and I hope you enjoy!

 

**_…Are you real or are you just pretend?…_ ** 1

The line went on forever, winding all the way around the gleaming windowed facade of the Javits Center, like a great snake wrapping around its prey.  The waking rays of the autumn sun were still only beginning to stretch up into the sky.  Beside him, Billy was quiet, a silent specter, so different from the boy who was always quick to laugh and joke.  He’d been that way a lot lately.  It was terribly strange and Teddy wasn’t sure what to do about it.

This was Comic-Con, it was supposed to be exciting a fact that seemed wasted on Billy.  

It left Teddy feeling uncertain and anxious; he coped with Billy mood by striving to be extra cheerful and working to be as helpful as humanly possible.  He did everything but _ask_ about the change in Billy’s mood.

The line began to shuffle forward once again and Teddy poked out his pinky finger to wrap around Billy’s.  He glanced over and Billy smiled and that simple curve of lips filled him with sweetness.  Comic-Con was going to be great.  He would make sure of it.

When they finally reached the entrance Teddy took Billy’s hand fully into his own and tugged him after him as he forged ahead.  He chose the line that looked shortest as the crowd of people clustered and jostled in order to be admitted into the convention center.  He had kept both their passes in his back pocket and gave them to the guard at the security checkpoint, informing them that Billy was Deaf and they should speak directly to him and clearly but not to yell.

Behind him, Billy was silent except when absolutely necessary as his bag was checked and he was ushered through the metal detector.  

The entire experience was a bit of a rush but once they were inside Teddy located the line for Kieron Gillen’s panel and secured them a spot.  

Feeling a bit flushed but proud at how smoothly the entire situation seemed to have gone he turned to look back at his boyfriend and his heart, which had just been beating in rapid exhilaration, immediately ground to a halt and dropped down to the soles of his feet.  Billy’s face was wearing that blank expression again, the earlier smile erased.

“This place is even more crowded than I expected,”  Teddy spoke and signed, hoping that once they started talking that smile would return, that Billy would come back from wherever he had gone.

“Yeah,” Billy replied, tone even and fist bobbing half-heartedly.

They just stood there, trapped in another line while Teddy tried to force communication that Billy seemed irritated with given his half-hearted replies.  After about a half-hour they sat on the floor.  Teddy managed to coax Billy into fits of chatter here and there but mostly they both stared at their respective phones until Teddy gave up altogether.  

He occupied himself with a game until his phone indicated that the battery was at twenty percent and advising he shift it into “low power mode”.

“Shit,” he cursed, realizing he’d forgotten to bring his external battery.

He looked up but Billy had obviously not heard him and was still focused on his own device.

“Lose a game?”  Someone behind him asked.

Teddy looked over his shoulder, meeting dark-coffee-brown eyes shaded behind copper-tinted lenses.  He was a boy around his age, hunched behind a laptop screen, only his eyes peering over its edge.

“Uh, no…” Teddy replied.  “Just my battery dying and I forgot my external charger.”

“Ah,” He reached into the backpack beside him and rummaged around in one of its pouches.  After a moment he pulled out a USB cord and a black block.  “Got you covered.”  He extended it to Teddy.

“Oh, that’s okay.  I don’t want to use up all your power.”

The boy snorted.  “Not a chance, this bad boy’s got over 24000mAh, I’ve got more than enough juice.”

Teddy took the device in hand.  “You sure?”

“Absolutely, us nerds gotta look out for each other.”

“Thanks, I’m Teddy by the way.”  He offered, extending his hand.

“David,” the other boy replied, taking his hand in a firm shake.

Teddy plugged in his phone and watched his battery icon turn a satisfying shade of green as it began to charge.

“So, you’re a fan of Gillen’s too, huh?”  David inquired.

“Oh, yeah, _The_ _Wicked and The Divine_ is one of my favorite graphic novels.”

“Fucking inspired.”  David nodded.

“And his work on _Star Wars_!”

“Epic.”

“Totally.”

“Hey,”  Billy interjected, his hand gripping Teddy’s bicep.

Teddy turned with a jerk.  “Hey…”

Billy flicked his eyes toward David.

“Oh, this is David.  He was cool enough to let me use his power bank since my phone was dying.”

“ _You could’ve used mine.”_   Billy signed gestures quick and sharp.  

“I didn’t know you had one with you,”  Teddy replied.

“ _You didn’t ask,”_   Billy replied.

David cleared his throat a bit and went back to whatever he was doing on his computer.

“Uh, Billy, this is David…like I said…David this is my—uh—my boyfriend Billy.”

It had been almost a year and Teddy still sometimes felt a bit fearful when said those words out loud to people he didn’t know well.  Teddy was an optimist, not naive.  

“Ah…” David tensed a bit before extending his hand to Billy.  “ _Nice to meet you.”_   He signed after their hands unclasped.

“You can sign?”  Teddy asked in surprise.

Billy was also looking taken aback.

“That’s pretty much all I got,” David shrugged.  “I can finger spell and I know few simple phrases.”

“Cool,” Teddy said.

“Uh, huh…” Billy muttered.

Tension gathered in the silence that hung between the three of them and Teddy couldn’t help but fill it.  

“Billy’s a big fan of Gillen’s too.”  He noted randomly trying to give the three of them something to discuss.

“Oh, yeah?”  David asked, making sure to face Billy as he spoke.

“ _Yeah,”_   Billy signed.

Teddy frowned.

David went back to whatever was on his computer screen.

“ _Think Gillen will take questions from the audience?”_   Billy asked.

It was an offhanded question but Billy wasn’t doing a good job of effecting casualness.

“I don’t know,” Teddy spoke and signed.

“ _Maybe he’ll talk a bit about what’s coming with Star Wars.”_

“Maybe, but Lucasfilm is like Gringotts;  Nothing gets in or out without the storyboard’s permission.”

 _“True…”_    

Teddy could not figure out why Billy was suddenly only speaking to him by signing.  It was rude and left David out of the conversation.  David seemed like a nice guy and he had lent Teddy his charger and he felt bad shutting him out like that.

“ _What are you doing?”_ Teddy finally signed.

“ _What?”_   Billy frowned, raking his hair back.

_“You’re only signing.  David was being nice and it’s rude.”_

_“I’m sorry, did you want me to use my voice now?”_

_“What’s that supposed to mean?”_

_“Whatever, I didn’t know we were being friends with him all of a sudden.”_

_“He did me a favor.”_

_“Fine.”_

Except it felt anything _but_ fine.  Teddy felt so irritated with Billy that he forced himself to stop the conversation before he said something he might regret.  

The remainder of their wait in line passed with Teddy chatting idly with David and Billy chiming in with short, clipped responses.  Once inside the room for the panel, David sat next to him since Teddy was still using his power bank.  Billy was still fairly frosty but once the panel came up on stage the three of them were fully distracted from the awkwardness that still clung to them.

Once the panel was over they stopped at the front to thank Billy’s interpreter and then shuffled out of the auditorium.  As they walked Teddy passed David back his power bank, his phone fully charged once again.  Teddy thumbed through the convention app on his phone and looked at the schedule he’d carefully mapped out the days leading up to the con.

“Okay, we should probably do lunch now since front here on we’ve got signings and panels from here on out.”

“Cool,” Billy replied.

“You want to join us for lunch, David?”  Teddy asked.

The other boy looked down and scratched at the back of his head a bit.

“Unless you’ve got another panel or something…or friends to meet up with.”  Teddy added.

David looked up at Teddy from behind his glasses and from under hooded lids.  “No, I got nothing right now…I could eat…”

“Sweet,” Teddy smiled and turned to see that Billy was already walking off toward the concession area.

Teddy felt anxiety spike through his system like a siren and he jogged after him.

“What’s the rush?”  Teddy asked as he caught up.

“Nothing,” Billy replied.  “Just keeping us on schedule.”

They moved into a line for pizza, because Teddy was learning that cons were all about lines.  When they reached the front Teddy stepped in front of Billy and spoke to the cashier.

“We’ll have three pizzas, two pepperoni, and one Hawaiian.”

“Stop doing that!”  Billy growled out loudly.

Teddy startled as he turned to look at his boyfriend who’s shoulders were bunched up like an angry cat.   

“What?”  Teddy asked in confusion.

“Stop _speaking_ for me.”  Billy was still frowning.  “Stop translating for me when I haven’t asked you to.  Stop treating me like I can’t do things for myself.  I got around with hearies just fine before I met you.”

That last statement was like a jab between the ribs.  He had just been trying to help.  He wasn’t trying to imply anything.  He felt his own anger prickle.  He tried to breathe for a moment before responding.

“Okay.  I’m sorry.”  He replied more tersely than he had wanted.  “I was just trying to help.”

“I don’t always need help.”

“I didn’t—”

“Just forget it.  _I need some air._ ”

Billy shoved past him and stalked away and Teddy stared after him.  He didn’t know what to do.  He didn’t know if Billy wanted him to chase after him like you would in a movie or if he needed space.

“Umm…that’ll be seventeen, thirty-five.”  The cashier said, holding out the three pizzas.

Numbly, Teddy pulled out his wallet and paid before he took the pizzas.  It was what they always ordered, one slice of pepperoni each and a slice of Hawaiian to share.  He didn’t know what to do so he just walked a bit, hands full and awkward but there was no sign of Billy.  

After a few moments, he finally slumped onto a bench.  He felt strange, he felt like he was being pulled in several directions at once.  He was angry…but he didn’t know how to be angry with Billy.  He felt hurt but he had never imagined Billy could ever hurt him.  He and Billy had been together for a good while now and they had never fought, not once, and it filled Teddy with so much uncertainty it threatened to overwhelm him.

He was vaguely aware of someone sitting down next to him.

“You okay?”  David asked, his slice of supreme pizza untouched.

He should have probably been embarrassed that this new guy had seen the whole fight in realtime but he couldn’t muster up the emotions to care about anything but what was going one with Billy.

“No,” Teddy replied honestly.  “He’s never even raised his voice at me before…we’ve never…”

“First fight?”  David asked.

“Yeah…I guess…”  Teddy replied, his own voice hollow in his ears.

David shrugged, his eyes closed.  “Don’t worry about it.  It happens.  Couples fight.”

Teddy shook his head.  “Not us…”

David chuckled, a low bitter sound.  “All couples fight, you guys are no exception.”

Teddy realized how much he thought of he and Billy as being exempt to the rules…special.

“I guess…yeah…”  He put the plates of pizza down beside him on the bench and rested his elbows on his knees.  “I just don’t understand…I thought I was being helpful or…I don’t get it.”

“Yeah, you don’t,”  David replied.

Teddy frowned.

“He’s Deaf.  He lives in a world where the rest of us have a sense he doesn’t.  The world is structured around that sense.  We’ve got no real idea what that’s like.”

“I _know_ that,”  Teddy grumbled defensively.  Of course, he knew that. 

David shrugged.  “I’m sorry, I’m probably overstepping.  I just met you guys.”

But maybe that’s what Teddy had needed.  Maybe he needed to be reminded he didn’t know what it was like to be Billy, that he didn’t know what he needed all the time.  Maybe he needed to be reminded that he wasn’t Billy’s protector.

“God…maybe I have been fucking this all up…”  Teddy groaned, leaning back and running his hands back through his hair.

David’s eyes followed him.  He hesitated before he asked:  “Have you asked him?”

“No,”

“You should ask him,”  David suggested, another hesitation.  “And if Billy can’t see that you’re hearts in the right place then he’s an idiot.”

Teddy jerked his head to stare at David who looked sheepish.  Teddy shook off the surprise and got to his feet.

“Do you mind…” he gestured to the pizza slices.

“Go on.  You’re good.  I’ll protect your food.  I’ve got an hour before the signing I got a wristband for.”

“Thanks!”  Teddy called over his shoulder, already jogging off through the convention center.

Billy wasn’t responding to his calls or his texts so it took him over fifteen minutes to locate him.  He finally found Billy sitting on a bench, elbows on his knees and staring out a window that overlooked the river.  Teddy took a deep breath before he sat down next to him.

“Hi,”

Billy glanced over at him before he echoed: “Hi,”

“Listen, I’m sorry .”  He honestly didn’t know what else to say.

“It’s okay…it’s just…I hate when people assume I’m incapable of getting around in the hearing world—that I need to be rescued or something.”

“I was just trying—”

“I know”  Billy cut in.  “Because you’re amazing.  But do you know how frustrating that can be?”

Teddy swallowed.  He didn’t know how to respond to that.  He didn’t know how to feel about that.  He was a bit like he was being punished for being a good guy.

“And the more frustrated it made me the cheerier and more ‘helpful’ you got.”  Billy continued.

“I didn’t know…”  Teddy whispered, his hands moving slowly as tough through wet sand.

“I know, and that’s my fault.”  Billy sighed, straightening up.  “I should’ve said something but I honestly didn’t realize it was happening until…until pretty much now…I think I just tried to pretend it was okay…because I just felt lucky to have you…plus you’re so knowledgeable about Deaf culture and just so generally awesome that it kind of snuck up on me.”

“I’m sorry,” Teddy knew he probably sounded stupid repeating himself over and over but he felt like that was all he could say at this point.

Billy shook his head and placed a tentative hand on Teddy’s arm.  “I forgot that this is all new for you.”

Teddy turned his arm over and slid it back so their fingers could weave together.  Despite the gesture and Billy’s words, he was still afraid.  He felt like he was drifting backwards like time was funneling around his vision.  Images of Billy leaving him and saying that this wasn’t going to work because of this fundamental difference between them invaded Teddy’s mind.

“Every time I thought about saying something I couldn’t help but feel like an ungrateful asshole.”  Billy continued.  “Who complains about their perfect boyfriend who just wants to make your life easier?”

Teddy squeezed his hand but didn’t say anything, he at least knew Billy well enough to know when he still had more to say.

“I already feel inadequate so much of the time and I don’t need someone to take care of me or make things easier on me.  That only makes it worse.  Am I even making sense right now?”

Teddy took his time responding.  “Yeah…I just don’t know what you need me to do.  I actually feel pretty awkward right now.”

Billy smiled, a soft twitch in the muscles of his cheeks.  “I just need you not to rush to my aid all the time.  Let me struggle a bit, I’ve been doing this for over eleven years, I know what I’m doing.  Other than that just keep being you.  My insecurities are my own shit.”

“ _Our_ shit.”  Teddy corrected forcefully.  “We’re a team.”  He squeezed Billy’s hand again.  “And how the hell did you ever get the notion that I’m anything but a bumbling idiot when it comes to you?”

Billy frowned in confusion.

“I feel like I tripped over my own tongue and feet the whole first few months of us knowing each other and a good chunk of the beginning of our relationship.  I’m not perfect and shouldn’t have coddled you.”

“Yeah, well, you can’t do anything about something you don’t know about,”  Billy replied.  “I’ll do my best to speak up next time rather than letting it fester.”

Teddy grinned.  “Hey, we’re sounding pretty adult.”

“We’re mature like that.”

The moment was interrupted when Billy’s stomach growled so loud it drew Teddy’s eyes down to his boyfriend’s stomach.

“Could you hear that?”  Billy giggled.

“Oh yeah,” Teddy grinned back.

“I don’t suppose we still got pizza.”

“Yeah, David’s watching them.”

Billy looked down at the mention of the other boy’s name.  “He likes you, you know.”  Billy gave a weak smile when he looked back up.

“David?”

“Yeah.”

“As a friend?”

One of Billy’s eyebrows wormed upward.  “Don’t be dumb.”

“I’m not!”

“He’s _very_ into you.”

“Are you sure?”  Teddy asked, totally unconvinced.

“I read body language like a superhero and I’ve basically got a Ph.D. in crushing on Teddy Altman.  Trust me, he’s into you.”

Teddy frowned as realization crawled to the forefront of his awareness.  “Wait, is that why you were being so short while we were in line and only using sign?”

Billy blushed and ducked his head, veiling his face with the fall of his hair.

Teddy waved his hands to get Billy to look back up at him.

“It was!  You were jealous.”

“A little…I was dealing with all that stuff in my head and I had this thought that you’d like to date someone who can hear, who’s that smart and put together…”

Teddy shook his head and smiled.  “You can be a real idiot sometimes, Billy Kaplan.”  He let go of Billy’s hand to cup his jaw with both hands and kiss him soundly.  He pulled back and signed:  “ _You’re all I could ever want.”_

Billy smiled and thunked his head into Teddy’s.  “See…perfect boyfriend.”

Teddy rolled his eyes.  “C’mon, let’s make sure David hasn’t eaten our pizzas and then con-it-up.”

“I like that plan.”

\---

1 Hollow Tune by Brick + Mortar


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy and Teddy go to prom!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes! So, so sorry for the delay. Life, responsibilities, they are things and they get in the way of the truly important stuff, ya know?
> 
> Also, over 100 kudos! I love you all so much!
> 
> And it's almost over only one or two more chapters left, which has me pretty sad folks.

**_…We were just kids when we fell in love…_ ** 1

Teddy took in a slow breath as he stood outside the Kaplan’s apartment.  His foot was tapping and he raised his fist up to knock only to lower it back down to his side.  This was about the fifth time he’d done that.  He was just coming to pick up his boyfriend to go to a school dance.  It wasn’t a big deal.  It _shouldn’t_ be a big deal.  He had been to this apartment a million times but this time felt different.  

This felt _significant_.

He took another breath; he squared his shoulders; he gritted his teeth and finally managed to get his shit together and knock.

There.  That wasn’t so hard now, was it?

Tommy opened the door in a pair of black joggers and a t-shirt with a psychedelic squid on the front that he dubbed “the Rave Kraken”.  His expression was one of supreme bored.  He took a bite of a slice of pizza and chewed loudly.  His eyes drifted from Teddy’s face all the way down to his feet.

“Well…” he took another bite and spoke while he chewed.  “Look at you…”

Teddy felt oddly self-conscious and looked down at the black vest, black dress shirt, and black pants he wore.  He shifted from foot to foot wondering if his shoes were maybe too shiny.  He ran his hand over the electric-blue skinny tie, the cool satiny fabric whistled against his skin.

Tommy rolled his eyes.  “I can’t believe you guys are going to this thing.”

“It’s senior prom,”  Teddy offered lamely.

“Like I said…”

“Thomas, stop harassing Teddy.”  Mrs. Kaplan scolded, swooping in to save Teddy and opening the door wide and exposing the rest of the apartment.

“I’m not harassing.  I’m just speaking truths.”  Tommy said, straightening up and away from the doorframe.

“I’m sure…”  Mrs. Kaplan intoned but still leaned over to plant a kiss on Tommy’s cheek.

Tommy scrunched his face.  “Mom!”

Mrs. Kaplan actually smirked and Tommy shambled away from the door.  

“You look absolutely dashing, Theodore.”  Mrs. Kaplan complimented as she motioned for him to enter the apartment.

 Reluctantly, he followed her inside where he was greeted by the rest of the Kaplan family.  Tommy plopped down onto the couch where he was shoving over one of the younger twins and Mr. Kaplan was walking into the living room fiddling with a camera.  

Teddy was suddenly struck with the desire to turn tail and run, a ball of electricity sizzling hotly up his spine.

And then Billy walked out of his room, eyes down as he tugged at both ends of his electric-blue bowtie.  It was like the whole world went silent; like the earth had tilted on its axis; like the sun had suddenly decided to orbit around Billy instead.

Billy was also dressed all in black with the exception of the bowtie that matched Teddy’s tie.  They had agreed on no suits or tuxes since Billy _really_ hated being dressed up.  This was literally the first time Teddy had seen his boyfriend in anything more formal than a hoodie and ripped jeans.  Billy’s usually unruly fringe was now properly parted and swept to one side with product.  He looked devastatingly handsome.

Billy huffed and released his bowtie and looked back up and caught sight of Teddy and immediately stilled.  They stared at each other for a long moment before Teddy finally managed to lift his pointer, middle, and ring fingers to either side of his mouth to form an awed: _“Wow…”_

Billy flushed a savage shade of pink and looked back down as his fingers signed:  _“You look in a mirror lately?”_

Teddy snorted a laugh and Tommy made a gagging noise from the couch.

There was a knock at the apartment door and Mrs. Kaplan opened it to allow Teddy’s mother inside.

“Am I allowed to come in now?”  His mother inquired.

“Yeah,” Teddy conceded.

“I don’t see why I couldn’t just come up with you.”  She grumbled.

“Because it’s lame coming to pick up your date with your _mom_!”  Teddy retorted.

“But I missed the moment when you first saw each other.”  She whined.

“It’s okay, I recorded it.”  Mr. Kaplan offered sunnily not taking his eyes off the screen of the camera.

“What?”  Billy demanded glancing from one pair of mouths to the next.

Teddy turned to him and signed and spoke.  “Your dad’s been recording.”

“Dad!”  Billy squawked.  

Mr. Kaplan only gave a helpless shrug and lifted the camera back over one eye.

“Billy why don’t you give Teddy his boutonniere.”  Mrs. Kaplan suggested, looking from over the round lenses of her glasses.

“Oh, yeah…” Billy’s hand went up to his forehead as if he was going to rake his hair back from his eyes.  His hand’s seized up as he seemed to realize that it was already styled back.  He dropped his hand limply to his side and nodded and then retreated back to his room.  When he returned he was carrying a clear box with a budding white rose nestled in emerald-green leaves and cluster of babies breath inside.

He walked up to Teddy, their eyes met for only an instant before he discarded the box and lifted the flower and needle up to Teddy’s chest.  He bit one corner of his bottom lip as he pinned it to Teddy’s vest, managing not to prick Teddy in the process.

“Thanks,” Teddy whispered but Billy wasn’t looking at his face and missed it.

He reached forward and squeezed his fingers.  Billy glanced up with only his eyes.

_“Thanks,”_ Teddy signed.

Billy gave a small smile and a single nod.

“Teddy,” Teddy’s mother whispered loudly.  “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Oh, right,” Teddy stammered and turned to see his mother pulling the boutonniere she’d helped him pick out from her purse.

He went to her and lifted the plastic lid and pulled out the white rose so similar to the one Billy had chosen for him.  When he returned to pin it to Billy’s vest he found that his hands were shaking, he was keenly aware of how close they were standing and that every eye in the room was on them (plus a camera).  He swallowed hard, terrified of skewering his boyfriend, but he managed it without drawing any blood.

Billy tipped forward and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek while both their mother’s essentially cooed and Tommy and the twins gaged in a spectacular display of immature synchronicity.  But it was mostly static ( _mostly_ ).  Because that’s the effect Billy always had on him.

With that business concluded they then spent the better part of a half-hour taking photos in various positions and in front of several backgrounds that Billy’s father had planned for them.  It was an entire event.

Teddy broke away from it all to go to the bathroom where he fussed over his hair a bit in the mirror and straightened out his clothes.  When he was satisfied, he opened the door to leave only to be stopped by a hand on his chest that shoved him gracelessly back into the bathroom.

Tommy closed the door partway and Teddy felt _insanely_ awkward.

“T—Tommy!  What are you doing?”  He demanded.

“Ssshhh!”  Tommy waved his hands in front of his face before breaking into his special brand of frenetic signing.  _“Listen, I just wanted to give you this.”_

Teddy took the keycard that was extended to him.  It was to the Courtyard Marriott.  He looked up and one brow arching high.  It was a room key.

_“You guys got a room there.”_

Teddy opened his mouth to speak but Tommy narrowed his eyes in warning and so he moved to sign instead.

_“Wait, what?”_

_“Do I need to speak!?  Can you read the words that are coming off my hands?”_   Tommy demanded irritably, slowing his signing which managed to very effectively communicate his condescension.

_“I understood…”_ Teddy replied.  _“I just…”_

_“Listen, it’s not that complicated.  Billy’s had it rough since the accident and I haven’t always been the best brother to him but he’s always been there for me…and you…you were there for him when he started at this new school… so…”_

_“Tommy…”_

_“Don’t you dare get fucking mushy on me.”_   Tommy demanded pointedly.

_“How did you pay for this?”_

_“Don’t ask.”_

_“It wasn’t illegal, was it?”_

_“Don’t ask.”_

_“But—”_

_“—I know a girl who’s family maybe owns the whole chain or something like that.”_ Tommy’s eyes drifted up and away.

_“What about your parents…”_

_“I’ve got it covered.  Just take him to that stupid dance, show him a good time, sleep in a fancy suite, order room service.  Just have him back by ten tomorrow morning.”_

Teddy lifted his hands to start signing but Tommy cut him off with a pointed finger before signing:  _“No mushy stuff.  Just go.”_

_“Okay,”_ Teddy conceded before lifting his hands in surrender.  

He walked out but just as he started down the hallway he turned and peeked around the threshold.  “Thanks, Tommy.  You’re a good brother.”

“What did I _just_ say!”  Tommy demanded loudly before slapping his hand to his mouth.  His green eyes glared angrily at Teddy.

Teddy just chuckled to himself as he tucked the keycard into his wallet and continued down the hall to meet Billy.

It still took them a solid fifteen minutes to extricate them from their families but they finally got down to the sidewalk outside where a black Mercedes was waiting to pick them up.  Billy turned to look at him, his lips quirked up and his eyes shining.

“Is that for us?”  He asked.

“Only the best for you,”  Teddy replied trying his best to effect a casual charm.

Billy laughed and punched him affectionally in the shoulder.

With the knowledge of a suite waiting for them after the dance, Teddy was glad he had at least saved up enough to plan for using UbserSelect for their transportation for the night.  He jogged ahead of Billy to open the door for him.

“Such a gentleman,”  Billy smirked as he ducked into the car.

They spent the car ride making out (which was probably rude…was there Uber etiquette?).  But he couldn’t manage to care because Billy was humming softly and sweetly as their lips canted together, his hands warm on Teddy’s neck.  Teddy had half a mind to skip the dance and go straight to that hotel suite but that would have required parting their lips so he could speak to the driver (Teddy _really_ needed to make sure and tip the driver well). 

Despite New York City traffic, the ride was over sooner than Teddy would have liked.  They exited the car and made their way up to the terrace venue the school had reserved for the night.  Teddy reached out and laced his and Billy’s fingers together, something that had come to feel as natural and reflexive as anything.

They entered along with several of their peers who they rode the elevator up with and made small talk about the dance and about senior year coming to an end.  After a little over a year of being out and together, their classmates had begun to mostly accept them.  Some had become outright friendly with them while others still managed to be awkward around them either starting at them or looking everywhere _but_ them; It wasn’t perfect but it was definitely an improvement.  

Once on the terrace, they found their seats which America and her date were already occupying.

America struck quite the figure in her form-fitting, pin-striped, navy-blue tux and ruby-red shoes and tie.  Her curly hair was a wild tumble of unchecked curls and gold star earrings caught the light.  

Her date was equally striking if in a completely different way; she was fair-skinned with hair that was like rich honey spilling over her shoulders.  She wore a white dress that somehow managed to both hug her willowy curves and flow around her.

America met them halfway, strutting effortlessly with all the command of a jungle cat that knows it’s at the top of the food-chain.  She slipped in between them, forcing them to disentangle their hands, and slung each of her arms over both of their shoulders.  

“Well, don’t you boys look sharp as razors.”  She whistled, sure to face Billy so he could read her lips.  “First time I think I’ve seen Billy here wear something that wasn’t full of holes.”

“Hey,” Billy protested as he jostled against her but he was smiling.

“Are you going to introduce us to your date or harass my boyfriend all night?”  Teddy asked as they reached smiling blonde.

America released them and swooped to her the girl’s side, her hands moved through a few signs intermittently as she spoke.  “Billy Kaplan, Teddy Altman, may I introduce Karolina Dean:  Valley girl extraordinaire and fresh from the West Coast.”

Karolina swatted lightly at America’s shoulder before extending her hand.  “Nice to meet you both.”

“Good to finally meet you, America’s told us a lot about you,”  Teddy replied as he shook her hand with one hand and signed with his other.

“Nothing but gushing adorations,” Billy assured.

Teddy was pleased to see that when Karolina turned to Billy she didn’t raise her voice or miss a beat, she just made sure to face him fully and speak clearly.  That was enough to give the girl Teddy’s seal of approval.

“All the way across the country for prom, huh?”  Teddy inquired once they had taken their seats.

America made eyes contact with Billy behind Karolina and Teddy’s backs and signed in her slow, blocky gestures:  “ _Rich parents.”_   In explanation and winked.

Billy sniggered.

Karolina nodded to Teddy.  “America will be doing the same for me in a few weeks.”

“ _Will_ she now?”  Teddy chuckled, sliding his eyes over to America.  “Sounds serious.”

America scowled at him and Karolina blushed.

“So tell us how you met.”  Billy swooped in to save them both.  “We’ve heard America’s rendition but I’m betting it was you who did the sweeping.”

Karolina seized the opportunity Billy gave her and recounted how the two of them met online.  “It was an LGBTQ activist forum.  America has a…” she smirked, sky-blue eyes slipping over toward America and back.  “…way with words.”

Both Billy and Teddy fell into a fit of chuckles.

“I’m just direct.”  America shrugged and reclined by tipping on the back two legs of her chair.

**_…Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms…_ ** 2

Once the eating was done and the dancing portion of the night began the four of them waded out onto the dance floor.  To Teddy’s astonishment, both America _and_ Billy produced flasks of alcohol which resulted in Teddy feeling a little fuzzy around the edges and even more sappy than usual. 

They traded dance partners periodically and Billy surprised them all by somehow managing to lead Karolina through a stately and elegant waltz.  Not to be outdone, Teddy and America did the “Stanky Leg” and then “the Dougie” (because they were contemporary…and cool).

They were jumping up and down together to some kind of electronic dance music when the music shifted to a song so slow it barely required movement.  It was “This Years Love”.By David Grey.  

Both he and Billy stopped and panted for a moment.  Billy’s hair had fallen lose and his fingers came up and swept it back into place.  That entire production:  Billy’s hair flopping in his eyes, his slender fingers brushing it back.  That was one of Teddy’s top five things he loved about this boy (loved to _gape_ at).

They stared at one another for a moment and Teddy was struck with a sudden blast of deja vu, thinking of that party Billy had taken him to a year ago—so much had changed since then.  He smiled and reached out and hooked his fingers into the belt loops of Billy’s pants and pulled him in close, chest-to-chest.

“ _Slow song_.”  He mouthed.

“ _I know.”_   Billy signed as he lifted his arms and wound them around Teddy’s neck.

Teddy felt like he was glowing (that could have maybe been the alcohol) and sighed happily as he tipped his face forward to press their sweat-glazed foreheads together as they danced.

“I love you.”  Teddy whispered before he shifted the angle to kiss Billy openmouthed, slow and heated.  

It didn’t matter that Billy couldn’t hear him and probably couldn’t see his lips, because he knew that Billy knew and that he felt the same.

When the song faded out one of the teachers chaperoning the dance stepped up onto the stage the DJ occupied to announce the prom court.  

“Ready to be crowned prom king?”  Billy nudged him in the ribs and smirked a smile that had him swooping in to kiss that twist of his lips from the corner of his mouth.  

Someone had nominated Teddy for prom king.  Whether it was a joke or legitimate—America was adamant that it had not been her but he still had his suspicions—he wasn’t sure.  Either way, Teddy was certain he was not going to be climbing that stage tonight.  His social interaction since junior year consisted almost solely of Billy and America, he didn’t expect to be winning any popularity contests. 

Unless this was a Stephen King novel _slash_ film…he hoped not.  He really didn’t feel like being doused with pigs blood tonight…

The announcements went as expected.  This wasn’t a teen musical or a teenage drama.  The accolades went to exactly who you would expect them to go to with the title of prom king and queen going to Greg and Ashley respectively.

Greg took the stage whooping and bowing as though the plastic crown was owed to him for four years worth of being a complete asshat to just about everyone.  Teddy was not sure he understood high school politics.

Ashley, on the other hand, was her usual display of grace and congeniality.  Billy clapped for her but not for Greg and Teddy followed his lead.  Once the two of them were on stage Teddy found himself feeling a little sorry for Ashley for having to share, what was likely a big night for her, with Greg.

Teddy knew all too well what Greg would likely expect from “his Prom Queen” and he hoped Ashley was savvy to Greg after four years of knowing him.

Greg led Ashley out into the crowd where the spotlight rested in preparation for their dance.  There was a chorus of catcalls and whistles as they went.  The pair of them passed Teddy’s group and Ashley actually smiled at them.  Greg on the other sneered and made to punch at Teddy’s gut which caused him to tense and pull Billy back.  Greg only threw his head back and laughed at him as they continued on their way.

Billy circled in front of him, his eyes probing Teddy’s.  Teddy smiled at him in an attempt to reassure him.  

It didn’t seem fair that Greg was prom king.  Maybe fair would have been Teddy and Billy _both_ getting to be crowned as prom king.  Maybe fair would have just been Greg _not_ winning.  But maybe fair didn’t really matter.  He had Billy, they had friends, they were leaving for college and soon Greg would be out of their lives.  All-in-all it didn’t really feel all that important anymore.

As Greg and Ashley began to dance Teddy saw Greg try and lower his grip to her butt only to have Ashley kick him in the shin as a warning.  There was a flutter of laughter through the crowd and Teddy smirked.  He remembered why he had always liked Ashley.  He had been friends with her for a time.  Then he had been jealous of her when she’d been crushing on Billy.  Then things had never been the same after he and Billy were outed.  It made him feel a little bit sad.  He was glad she and Billy, at least, were still friendly.

Once the king and queen had had their dance the event began to thin out as people wandered off to whatever after events they had planned.  

“My friend Cassie’s hosting an afterparty.  You in, Chicos?”  America asked as the four of them exited the dance.

“Actually…” Teddy glanced at Billy as he spoke and signed.  “We’ve got other plans.”

America lifted a single eyebrow.  “Oh?”

“Oh?” Billy echoed.

“Yup,” Teddy replied cheerily.

Billy frowned at him in confusion while America chuckled.

“You boys have fun then.”

They said their goodbyes to her and Karolina and climbed into another fancy Uber, this time a Lexus.  

“Where are we going?”  Billy asked, finger’s up and close to Teddy’s face as he signed.  That meant Billy was feeling a little tipsy.  He always signed closer to you when he was under the influence.

Teddy laughed and grabbed Billy’s wrists and kissed his fingertips.  He looked up and said:  “You’ll see.”

Their suite turned out to be very sweet indeed.  It was bigger than Teddy’s fucking apartment.  Billy walked in and spun around the sitting area with his arms spread wide.  Teddy had the funniest image of Billy bursting into the “Hills Are Alive” from the _Sound of Music._

“How did you afford this place?”  Billy demanded, grinning from ear to ear.  “Have you been selling drugs?  Selling your body?”

Teddy snorted out a laugh.  “Both, you caught me.”

Billy angled his head.  “Seriously?  How?”

Teddy scratched the side of his head.  “Your brother set it up.”

“ _Tommy_?”

“Yeah, he said he had some friend or something and gave me the key card.  He’s going to cover for us until ten tomorrow morning.”

Billy looked stunned.  “That shit…I can’t believe him…”

“Yeah…”

Billy was quiet for a long while before his smile was back.  I’ll thank him tomorrow.  Right now I want to do things to you in that big comfy bed.”

Teddy didn’t have time to react before Billy shoved him down onto the fluffy, white bedding.  

Songs and stories liked to play around with the concept of time when it came to moments of passion and love, stretching such scenes out into glorious infinity.  That was the kind of night it was.  Lying in that bed was like lying down in a cloud; every sweet moment between them strung and woven out into a blissful eternal chord.  

Teddy really owed Tommy too.

When they got back to the Kaplan’s apartment the next morning Tommy answered the door and Billy threw his arms around him in a bear-hug.  Tommy flailed a bit before he finally succumbed, patting at Billy’s back and returning the hug, his face red with embarrassment.  Teddy decided to add to it and put his arms around them both.

“For the love of—” Tommy gripped.

“Thanks, big brother.”  Billy said.

Tommy didn’t say another word.   

______________________

1 Perfect by Ed Sheeran

2 Perfect by Ed Sheeran

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this is probably the fluffiest thing I have EVER written...I'm pretty sure. But I can't help it Billy and Teddy are pretty damn fluffy in canon so...yeah...
> 
> P.S. I know everyone is pretty keen on America/Kate and Karolina/Nico...but I seriously think these two would hit it off in the best kind of way if they met.


End file.
